How do you spell stress?
K-I-D-S
W-O-R-K
M-O-N-E-Y
S-C-H-O-O-L
M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E
D-E-C-I-S-I-O-N-S
L-I-F-E.
Barbara’s definition of stress:
The physical reaction one has when he/she feels like there is more to do, learn, or simply be, than is physically or mentally possible. It is the reaction one experiences when having thoughts like, “I can’t handle this,” or “I can do this, but it will deplete my energy and resources,” accompanied by feelings of helplessness and or fear and resentment.
To paraphrase one of the dictionary definitions I read: Stress is pressure applied to something. Ha! I’m visualizing a cartoon elephant sitting on a balloon, stretching it as far as it will go until it eventually pops. How many times have you felt like that?
High Stress has become more common than the common cold and even though we hate it, we accept it as a necessary evil in our daily lives. I realize that being a therapist skews my perception, but everywhere I go I hear people talking about how stressed they are. Eavesdrop on any conversation in a restaurant or store and you will overhear something similar to this:
“Oh my gosh, I had a panic attack when I was asked to volunteer an extra day at my kid’s school this week.”
“I’ll go out of my mind if one more person asks me to do something.”
“I’m so busy! I wake up earlier and earlier each day, but still can’t do all I should do.”
“I’m so stressed! I have two papers and a test this week…and I have to work! Do I get to have a social life?”
or… you fill in the blanks
I am so stressed! I have to _____, and______and_____. My_____wants me to_____, which will mean I can’t_____. I feel like_____!
What has happened to us? How did we fall down the slippery slope of accepting stress as a badge for “Doing Our Best?” At what point did we abdicate our volition and allow ourselves to be dragged around by multiple task masters. When did we forget that listening to our heart, and the wisdom it dictates, is our best organizer. There are many voices that are more than happy to tell us what to do and how to be. Whether it is the media in all of it’s many forms, work, school, or the unrealistically high expectations we set for ourselves, the bottom line is, too many outside voices make it nearly impossible to hear our own hearts and what we intuitively know we should be doing with our time.
STOP! You are still in charge of your life. Find a quiet place and…
1. Ask your heart what is the best use of your energy.
2. Choose wisely and then take responsibility for what you have chosen.
3. Understand that you can’t be everything to everyone.
4. Know that there is a time and a place for everything.
5. Understand there will always be stress, but it shouldn’t dominate.
Managing stress is as much a personal responsibility as not smoking, wearing a seat belt, and not using drugs. Nobody is going to do it for us. Ignoring or enduring stress can lead to such unhappy consequences as: heart disease, diabetes, obesity, chronic headaches, sleep problems, depression and anxiety, irritable bowl syndrome, cancer, and premature aging. These problems creep up over time and can catch us off guard while we are painfully trying to “Do Our Best.” A lot of “thanks” for our good intentions. Right? Wrong! If we want to truly function at our highest level, we must live our lives in such a way that stress does not overpower us, but takes it’s place in the backseat, encouraging us to try a little harder and do a little more.
I’d like to propose, that we make a decision today to recognize a new badge for “Doing Our Best.” What could it be called?
How about “Enough.”
Below are 7 tips for managing stress
Tip 1: Get Enough Sleep
Tip 2: Exercise
Tip 3: Practice Mindfulness
Tip 4: Talk to Friends
Tip 5: Avoid Using a Magnifying Glass; Stop Over Thinking
Tip 6: Write it Down
Tip 7: Escape: Take a Vacation or Mental Break
Be a “pioneer of peace” and share your tips for managing stress by pressing the comment button in the upper right hand corner of this post. Your tip could make a difference in someone else’s life.
Shine on 🙂
Barbara
Related articles
- 17 Psychology Experts Share their Best Stress Relief Tips (psychologytoday.com)
- 4 Healthy Ways to Cope with Stress (psychologytoday.com)
Barbara Scoville, LCSW 
Barbara once told me that I should expect from my body and mind what I put into it. I have let this guide my expectations. When I feel good and balanced I notice I have been sleeping, eating right, excercising, and practicing mindfulness ( which I love). When I feel stressed, anxious, or any unpleasant physical ailment, I realize I have been complacent with my good practices. I agree that “Enough” is an exceptional way to describe doing our best! Set realistic goals for yourself and celebrate reaching them, one step at a time.
Thanks for your comment Koreen. It’s amazing how our body lets us know when we are neglecting it. I love what you say about setting realistic goals and celebrating reaching them one step at a time. Each step is a success.
Thanks for your comment Koreen. Staying balanced takes a lot of effort, but when we slip, and we do, because we’re human,our bodies will remind us. I think a great lesson we have to learn is to be gentle with ourselves and softly put ourselves back on track. Kind of like a mindfulness practice. When we see our attention drifting away, gently, non-judgmentally bring it back. How much of a difference do you think it would make if when our anxiety tells us we are off track, we skipped the judgment part and just went straight to the getting back on track part. Just thinking about it gives me peace and lifts burdens.
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Reblogged this on Barbara Scoville, LCSW.
A few things that help me with stress…..good calming music, walking, trying to stay positive and laughing…..finding humor in what is happening around me and to me plus sharing it with someone else helps me have a better attitude and not take everything so seriously thus I handle the stress better. 🙂 Love your articles! So wise!
Great article Barbara with wonderful words of advice. Even if you know these things this article is a really good reminder how to avoid stress and find positive ways to release it. I love what Cathie said about laughing and finding humor when you feel stressed. A loved one or a good friend to talk to helps to vent your frustrations. I also find that taking a little time and enjoy something I like helps also. ;]