Every now and then I see something so exciting to me, I just have to share it. I’m always amazed with Ted Talks but this one, already seen by 4,000,000 people really grabbed me.
Talk about “keeping it real,” Brene Brown shares her research on shame and vulnerability and explains that those two difficult emotions are the foundation of what she calls a “wholehearted life,” and the birthplace of connectedness and innovation.
Trust me, I know everyone is busy but take 20 minutes to watch this. I promise you will thank me.
What makes you feel vulnerable, and can you see that if we choose to live a wholehearted life we must keep walking, even if we’re afraid? Most important things in life require taking a risk. When have you taken a risk to be your authentic self, and then been grateful that you did? Press the comment button and share your experiences. We’re all in this together and benefit from hearing from those who have had the courage to be themselves. It rubs off you know.
I’m back from guest blogging, and planning some pretty cool stuff in the near future. Help me increase my audience by sharing this blog with your friends and family. I’m looking forward to building a community of like-minded people devoted to cultivating their resilience and making a difference in the lives of others. I have an idea… if each one of you shared http://www.barbarascovillelcsw.com with two people, we would really begin to grow. Let’s build this together.
Take care my friends. Until next time…
Shine on 🙂
Barbara
Barbara Scoville, LCSW 
Amazing to see your post on this just today. Friday I started reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown — about this same subject. I sometimes wonder if I am “oversharing” when I realize I have made people feel more than is usual during polite conversation — this concept of vulnerability as courage is very validating. Thank you for this post — I would love to know more of how this affects your daily life.
Thanks for sharing Jerri. I haven’t read the book yet but am really looking forward to it. I feel vulnerable when I try something that I think only the so called “experts” can do. i.e. because I don’t have a PH.D. I can’t write a book. Starting this blog was one of the scariest things I have done. Even though I believe in what I’m doing, I’m still afraid nobody will like it. I’m learning to move forward in my own truth and am getting more comfortable using my own voice, instead of trying to sound like an expert. Wow! did I just say that? Well, there it is 🙂 i’m pushing the reply button now. See what I mean…sharing stories helps us all be more courageous. We are not alone.
I just finished a fellowship at the Institute for Community Inclusion at Children’s Hospital, Boston, the LEND Program. I was a family fellow, meaning I was one of the moms providing the parent viewpoint in discussions with these brilliant academics, doctors and researchers. I gradually felt safer and safer in this very nurturing group (grad school eons ago had been like a shark tank compared to this experience) and I ended up sharing a lot, feeling I was among friends, and that I had a golden opportunity to influence people who would be going out and dealing with families in a professional capacity for decades.
I did not put this together with vulnerability until I saw Brene Brown’s work, why faculty at our convocation luncheon were telling me how special it was to have me in the group, how they appreciated my courage. The biggest outburst I had was when other Fellows were reporting on their visits with families and how heroic the parents were, saying, this is our life, we’re just like every other family. I listened to report after report and finally during discussion said, I feel like a huge loser, now that I’m trying to have a life instead of being home 24/7 cleaning up after everyone, our house is a wreck, bills are paid late, etc. — how can anyone take care of a child with disabilities and think it’s like everyone else — I know it’s not because I have an older child and I know what it is to be “like everyone else is” and this isn’t it!
I think it was the first time I have said out loud in public how I feel like such a failure and so trapped. Now I’m thinking that more needs to be said about that, but it’s hard because I don’t want to embarrass my family or violate their privacy — and who wants to look incompetent?
BTW, you could totally write a book! I would never have thought from reading your blog that you are anything but a world expert. I was thrilled to find it — I don’t have time for much reading, but I faithfully follow you because what you write has tremendous value. Welcome back!
What a great opportunity that must have been to have done a fellowship for LEND. Have you ever read My Name Is Asher Lev, by Chaim Potok. It’s a beautiful story about a young orthodox jew who is an artist. He painted a picture of his mother standing in front of a widow pane that made her look like she was on a crucifix. It’s been years since I read the book but as I recall his family was very upset. It was still a statement he needed to make. I believe you can tell your truth and be respectful of your family members. You could start by writing your story…thoughts and feelings for your eyes only and go from there…or write your own TED Talk…or a This I believe Essay. It’s important for you to say what you know even if no one else sees it. You ARE NOT a loser. Thanks for your kind thoughts about my blog. It warms my heart.
I loved that! The comment “You cannot selectively numb emotion” was just what I needed to hear right now, as well as “You are enough”. She is so right, the reason I don’t feel connected to people is that I don’t feel confident enough to show who I really am. Vulnerability is probably the biggest problem I have with my kids too. Very nice to have it pointed out this way!
Thanks for your comment Jennifer 🙂 So true. Selective numbing is an interesting word combination…and she’s right. We can’t do it.