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Barbara Scoville, LCSW

~ Pioneers of Peace™

Barbara Scoville, LCSW

Monthly Archives: July 2013

A Keeper Quote

30 Tuesday Jul 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Pioneers of Peace, Quotes, The Power to Do

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Change the World, Community Action, Keeper Quotes, Margaret Mead

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Posted @ QUOTEZ.CO
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“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead

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I Found My Heart in San Francisco

28 Sunday Jul 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Emotion School, Pioneers of Peace, Resilience

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

charitable activity, Charity, Fear, Generosity, Homeless, Homelessness, Nelson Mandela, San Francisco, Selfishness

 Mandela-Day

July 18, 2013 was Nelson Mandela International Day. In honor of his 67 years of service, people throughout the world were challenged to spend 67 minutes in charitable activity that would make our world a better place. View the highlights from the day to see all of the amazing things people did.

I was inspired by this challenge, and began a quest to understand the virtue of generosity. Sparing you the details, I can quite honestly say that I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster, but have come through the final tunnel safely. I would like to share the first steep hill of my journey…

My family loves San Francisco. We visit often and always stay at the same hotel.

The Handelry Hotel

The Handelry Hotel

We eat at our favorites restaurants…

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And walk from Union Square to the Ferry Building, stopping to shop at the Farmer’s Market…

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I always look forward to visiting Gandhi standing amongst the produce and flower venders.

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Diversity, the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, and the labyrinths both inside and out of Grace Cathedral are among the things I love.

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San Francisco’s streets are lined with homeless people and panhandlers. Some play music, others are comedians, and still others are just passed out on the sidewalk with their dog(s) lying next to them. The disparity between the haves and the have nots stands out like a sore thumb.

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A couple  of years ago while visiting my favorite American city, I learned a lesson; in doing so, I found my heart in San Francisco.

It all started one evening while my family and I were eating dinner at our regular ‘first night in town’ restaurant, Bellini’s. Somewhere between eating salad and dipping the flatbread into olive oil and balsamic vinegar, my husband made the announcement that instead of taking our leftovers back to the hotel only to rot in the fridge, he was going to give them to someone on the street.

Alarms started going off in my head!!! To say I, the social worker had a very strong negative reaction is an understatement.

“Don’t do that! (Note to my readers: If my hands weren’t typing they would be covering my face in shame) They don’t want your food; they just want your money and will harass us for more.” My boys agreed with me and we begged him to listen to us, basically requesting that he not be so naïve (I can’t believe I’m confessing this). To his credit and my dismay, he stood his ground and boldly said he would do what his conscience told him. I rolled my eyes both because it came naturally, and as a last ditch effort to demonstrate my complete disagreement.

We had a leisurely dinner and when we were done with our pizza, we asked the server for take out boxes. With leftovers in hand, we walked towards the door. In the back of my mind I was wondering what was going to happen. I was half hoping everyone had forgotten about our earlier conversation and that the evening would pass without incident. Clearly my mind had fallen down the rabbit hole of one of my many complexes. We walked out through the open doors…

Not more than 5 seconds passed before an elderly woman bent over with osteoporosis and wrapped in a blanket, walked up to my husband and asked if he was going to eat his leftovers. Speechless he held the box out to her, which she grabbed and immediately opened.

We took a few steps up the street towards Nob Hill, and then stopped to turn around and watch.

She was inhaling the pizza as if she couldn’t satisfy her hunger fast enough. I looked at my husband who had tears filling his eyes. I caught my breath and swallowed deeply, (pride is large pill) as the lesson of charity burned an indelible image in my mind.

In all of the times we had been to San Francisco, nothing like that had ever happened, and nothing like that has happened since. Have you experienced something that you knew wasn’t a coincidence?

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When I look back on that night along with all of the other acts of charity my husband has included me in against my will, I ask myself: “How can I be so heartless when I care so deeply for people, especially those in need?”

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The answer is simply fear. It stems from a childhood of my dad protecting me from harm in every possible way. I love him for that, but I  have developed a misguided conception of what harm actually is. Now that I have an awareness of what’s blocking my heart, I can begin to dismantle it. That doesn’t mean that understanding the fear will  prevent me from experiencing it anymore. It means I will have to look it straight in the eye and walk through it over and over again, until my brain gets rewired to think and respond differently.

How do you define “Generosity?”

Charity, Service, Altruism, Giving, Volunteering, Listening, Donating, Sacrificing, Sharing, Love… the list goes on and on.

In 2009, a $5 million grant from the John Templeton Foundation, was awarded to The University of Notre Dame to study “The Science of Generosity,” in order to understand why some people practice generosity and others don’t. In their study they explain…

“For our purposes, we use the word generosity to refer to the virtue of giving good things to others freely and abundantly.

  • Generosity thus conceived is a learned character trait that involves both attitude and action—entailing as a virtue both an inclination or predilection to give liberally and an actual practice of giving liberally.
  • Generosity is therefore not a random idea or haphazard behavior but rather, in its mature form, a basic, personal, moral orientation to life. Furthermore, in a world of moral contrasts, generosity entails not only the moral good expressed but also many vices rejected (selfishness, greed, fear, meanness). *note* Highlighted by Barbara for emphasis
  • Generosity also involves giving to others not simply anything in abundance but rather giving those things that are good for others. Generosity always intends to enhance the true wellbeing of those to whom it gives.
  • What exactly generosity gives can be various things: money, possessions, time, attention, aid, encouragement, emotional availability, and more.
  • Generosity, to be clear, is not identical to pure altruism, since people can be authentically generous in part for reasons that serve their own interests as well as those of others. Indeed, insofar as generosity is a virtue, to practice it for the good of others also necessarily means that doing so achieves one’s own true, long–term good as well.
  • And so generosity, like all of the virtues, is in people’s genuine enlightened self-interest to learn and practice.

Well, that’s all for this week, but I promise this is not the last you’ve heard from me on this topic. If you missed International Mandela Day, take the opportunity to have a belated celebration, by spending 67 minutes practicing the virtue of generosity. I would love to hear what you chose to do. If you need some inspiration, click on the link “View the highlights of the day,” found at the beginning of this post.

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Stop back later in the week for the next installment of Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game. At this writing, only 5 people have voted on whether they are more a babbling brook or a placid lake. So far, the placid lakes are winning out. Come on friends, cast you vote and participate in this fun game. I get a big smile each time I see a new vote.

Until next time, may you find your cup half full,

Barbara (The Blog Whisperer)

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Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 3)

25 Thursday Jul 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Resilience, Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: A Game, Wellness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Michelangelo, Self awareness, Self discovery, Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

images“In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.”Michelangelo

For most of us the answer to the question, “Who am I?” is work in progress. There are times when we are certain who we are, what we like, and what we want; and other times when it seems we have no idea at all.

It has been said that identity isn’t just about what you have done, but what you would like to experience.

Playing “Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way” is a fun game designed to help you discover who you really are. You will be given a series of choices and asked which option resonates most with you.  Some will seem easy . . . black and white, while others will require careful contemplation.

Play the game each week and over time watch how your identity takes form; like Michelangelo chipping away at a block of marble, only to reveal what he already knew was inside.

Included in the game is a polling box in which you can cast your vote and see how your answer compares with others.

Game Rules:

1. Think about each option and decide which one you identify with the most.

2. You may feel like you can identify with both, but choose the one you lean towards.

3. Feel free to think about the options in any way you like: literally, symbolically, metaphorically, preferentially, etc.

4. Claim your identity by voting in the polling box at the bottom of the page, and just for the fun of it see what others are saying.

5. Check in each week to answer the latest question that will reveal your identity.

6. Keep a written record of your responses and watch a description of yourself unfold.

Option: Play this game with your friend or partner. See how well you know each other and build your relationship by sharing aspects of your personality.

Ready to play?

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

This Week’s Question: Round 3

Are you more a babbling brook… or a placid lake?

Babbling Brook
Placid Lake

Cast Your Vote 🙂

Last week, 16 awesome people voted :-) :-) Thank you, thank you, thank you!! The results were 10 oil paintings and 6 finger paints.

Come on readers… take the plunge and cast your vote. It’s so fun to see what everyone is saying.

Check back next Wednesday or Thursday and see what question I have cooked up to help you in your quest to answer the question: “Who am I?”

Until next time … may you find your cup half full :-)

Barbara

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Need Energy? Try Gratitude

22 Monday Jul 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Energy, expressing gratitude, Gratitude, Happiness, Life satisfaction, satisfaction survey, Self awareness, transcendent moments

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Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world. ~ John Milton

NOTE: IF YOU DON”T HAVE MUCH TIME, SKIP TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST AND WATCH THE YOU TUBE VIDEO. IT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO 🙂

July 15, 2013 5:52 am

imagesLast week in my post Journal Fever and Life Satisfaction , I began a personal experiment in which I wrote the first of three letters expressing gratitude. The experiment will continue over an 8-week period of time; writing my second and third letters in two-week intervals. Right before I wrote my first letter, I completed a life satisfaction survey to establish my baseline and will finish up the experiment with a post-test 2 weeks after my third letter has been written. Of course I’m curious to see if I fall into the majority of those whose life satisfaction scores improved.

As I was writing my first letter I had some disturbing feelings, which has caused me to pursue the concept of gratitude on a deeper level this week.

I’m just going to make myself naked here and admit… there were moments when I felt like I was falling off a cliff because I couldn’t think quickly enough of what I was grateful for. The thoughts were not coming the way I assumed they would.

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I didn’t lift my pencil once in the 20 min period of time I was allowed, but it gave me real anxiety, and actually a fair amount of shame. I’ve always considered gratitude to be one of my strengths, so when I found myself so quickly at a loss for words, the background chatter in my mind was chanting “What’s wrong with you?”

Twitter_question_markI’m inclined to think I’ve become so busy and outwardly focused that I have let my sense of gratitude slip.  I can see the ghost of my dad pointing his finger at me, repeating the single word, SHAME, each time taking 5 seconds to annunciate. STOP!!! Okay, I have banished my illusion, but I am left with a serious question. “What’s up with this gratitude thing?”

July 15, 2013 6:05am

 I found  a really great article in Psychology Today that talks about all of the benefits both physical and mental, of practicing gratitude. If you click on the quote below you will be linked to the article for your reading pleasure.

 “In addition, grateful thinking—and especially expression of it to others—is associated with increased levels of energy, optimism, and empathy.”

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Energy? Did someone say energy? I’ve been so concerned about my energy levels lately. I thought it might be connected to not getting enough sleep, in-proper nutrition, definitely lack of exercise or maybe I’m just an overall low energy person.  I never thought of low levels of gratitude. Hmmm, I feel another experiment brewing…

July 15, 2013 6:58am

I spent the last hour reading articles on gratitude and see the value much like I see the value of mindfulness. Not only does practicing gratitude require slowing down, but the act of gratitude is experienced deep in the cellular level…or deeper… perhaps it’s transcendent. I wonder if gratitude affects the amygdala (the fight or flight center of the brain) positively like prayer and meditation. I would think it does.

July 15, 2013 7:15am

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright coppered kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown papered packages tied up with strings…these are a few of my favorite things…  Maria had it all figured out.

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July 15, 2013 7:10pm

Make no mistake about it: Cultivating gratitude takes work. This morning I tried to spend my entire drive to work thinking about the things I am grateful for. I noticed I was coming up with superficial stuff- the same old rote things I always think of. I kept getting distracted. Another eye-opener; I have taken gratitude for granted. Gratitude is another verb just like patience. It needs to be proactively practiced so it can become a habit, which then can become internalized.

July 16, 2013 5:39am

I think a way to deepen my sense of gratitude, is to not only say or think what I’m grateful for, but also why I’m grateful.

Example #1

If I’m grateful for my family…why am I grateful for my family?

…because they give my life purpose and meaning…because I feel loved…because I can serve them… because they are there for me when I need them…because I care deeply about their happiness and it helps me feel like we are all connected…because they help me grow in so many ways; patience, selflessness, understanding, empathy, charity, faith, hope, accomplishment, wisdom…they are my friends and my teachers, and I love their uniqueness …the list goes on and on. Yep, as I think on a deeper level, my heart swells with gratitude.

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Example #2

I am grateful for The Farmer’s Market… because…

…it makes me happy… somehow it makes me feel like I’m with my tribe… I’m grateful for the people who grow life sustaining produce, the beekeepers who passionately  produce honey that makes my mouth happy… all of the colors at the market that make me feel alive… I feel safe in an environment where people are creating rather then complaining and destroying… I love participating in the bounty of life… life is good at the Farmer’s Market and when I’m there I am in the flow.

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July 16, 2013 6:04am

I’ve been reading an article on gratitude featuring Brother David Steindl-Rast (BDSR), an expert on gratitude. He says people who practice gratitude create a society that the world is craving. Unhappy societies are filled with Exploitation, Oppression, and Violence. Grateful living is a remedy for all three of those because gratitude acknowledges what we have, and the latter focuses on what we lack. I love that!

July 17, 2013 5:19am

41G7boad-OL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_Yesterday at work I read more from BDSR. I was so impressed with his life’s work focused on gratitude. I bought one of his books from Amazon called “Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer; An Approach to Life in Fullness.” It should come tomorrow. I can hardly wait for it to arrive.

July 17, 2013 5:26am

 Yesterday I talked about gratitude with my clients. I watched their faces soften, and smiles appear where tears once were as they remembered the times they knew they were loved and why. When they started speaking about what they were grateful for, they didn’t want to stop even though I gave them opportunities. Maybe at least in part, that is how gratitude increases energy.

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I read another article about a campaign in which people all over the world committed to not being critical or complaining for 21 days. They wore purple bracelets as a symbol of their commitment. I assume the results were favorable, because a book was written about it.

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I think people who choose to abstain from criticizing  and complaining, go through the same detox one does when they choose to give up electronics or sugar for a week. Chronic complaining is a bad habit that we sadly rely on to structure our life. It can become part of our identity if we are not careful. Some people are actually proud of being cynical.

Criticizing and complaining are the opposite of gratitude and they bring with them darkness. They are two of the biggest energy drainers there are. Think about it! What does it feel like to be surrounded by criticism, sarcasm, cynicism, and complaining?

July 18, 2013 5:19am

If you were to picture gratitude, what would you see?

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I ‘d see awe and wonder in people’s faces. I’d see smiles and tears. I’d see hearts. I’d see a lot of the same things I would see on the faces of people who are happy and of those who love. I would see what it looks like to have needs met. What is the difference between happiness, love, and gratitude?

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others ~Marcus Tullius Cicero

I think gratitude is the expression of appreciation and acknowledgment that there is something greater than you that has made your life better. It can and should be proactive. It is a magic elixir. Poor a little gratitude on life and things transform.

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 July 21, 2013 5:32 pm

It’s Sunday, 5:32pm. My family (children and grandchildren) are downstairs waiting for me to make dinner, so I have to wrap this up.

I hope you don’t mind traveling with my mind as I ponder my focus for the week. My wish for you is to take this topic of gratitude and assess where you are with it.

Join me in cultivating a deeper awareness of things to be grateful for. In a sense, we can all be pioneers of peace by making this world a little sweeter through focusing on what we have, and less on what we lack.

Please take the time to watch the You Tube video below. It is written and narrated by Brother David Steindl Rast and will jumpstart you on your path to gratitude. 

Until next time, may you find your cup half full 🙂

Barbara (The Blog Whisperer)

P.S. This is another post raw and un-edited

P.S. P.S.  Stop back later in the week to see what’s new in Self Discovery: The Michelangelo Way. It’s not to late to cast your vote on whether you are more oil paints or finger paints. Chow!

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Sung-bong inspires on ‘Korea’s Got Talent’

21 Sunday Jul 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Just had to share this inspiring post about ‘Korea’s Got Talent’s’ Sung-bong. If you haven’t seen it yet, take a look and then read the lyrics to the song. …so beautiful and poignant!

Community Blog: Consider This

                        Sung-bong Choi performs on “Korea’s Got Talent.”


Sung-bong Choi, a 22-years-old laborer, inspired me today. Like thousands on several postings, I watched his “Korea’s Got Talent” performance on YouTube. He walked on stage dressed in a plaid shirt, jeans and white sports shoes. Two of the three judges asked him several questions about his life before he sang.

Since I do not know Korean, I do not know the name of his song nor did I understand the words between the judges and him. I had to rely on the on-screen translation. I found the lyrics in a YouTube viewer’s post below the video after I watched it.

Nevertheless, I saw the effects of both Sung-bong’s answers to the judges’ questions about his life and his song on the judges and the audience. In their individual ways, the…

View original post 310 more words

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Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 2)

18 Thursday Jul 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Resilience, Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: A Game, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

authentic self, Games, Michelangelo, Self awareness, Self discovery

images“In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.”Michelangelo

For most of us the answer to the question, “Who am I?” is work in progress. There are times when we are certain who we are, what we like, and what we want; and other times when it seems we have no idea at all.

It has been said that identity isn’t just about what you have done, but what you would like to experience.

Playing “Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way” is a fun game designed to help you discover who you really are. You will be given a series of choices and asked which option resonates most with you.  Some will seem easy . . . black and white, while others will require careful contemplation.

Play the game each week and over time watch how your identity takes form; like Michelangelo chipping away at a block of marble, only to reveal what he already knew was inside.

Included in the game is a polling box in which you can cast your vote and see how your answer compares with others.

Game Rules:

1. Think about each option and decide which one you identify with the most.

2. You may feel like you can identify with both, but choose the one you lean towards.

3. Feel free to think about the options in any way you like: literally, symbolically, metaphorically, preferentially, etc.

4. Claim your identity by voting in the polling box at the bottom of the page, and just for the fun of it see what others are saying.

5. Check in each week to answer the latest question that will reveal your identity.

6. Keep a written record of your responses and watch a description of yourself unfold.

Option: Play this game with your friend or partner. See how well you know each other and build your relationship by sharing aspects of your personality.

Ready to play?

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

This Week’s Question: Round 2

Are you more oil paints … or finger paints?

Cast your vote 🙂

oil paints
finger paints

Last week, 15 awesome people voted 🙂 🙂 Thank you, thank you, thank you!! The results were 9 daisies and 6 roses.

This week I hope more of you will take the plunge and cast your vote. It’s so fun to see what everyone is saying.

Check back next Wednesday or Thursday and see what question I have cooked up to help you in your quest to answer the question: “Who am I?”

Until next time … may you find your cup half full :-)

Barbara

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Journal Fever and Life Satisfaction

14 Sunday Jul 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Emotion School, Pioneers of Peace, Resilience, Wellness

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

dear journal, Diary, Gratitude, Gratitude journal, Happiness, Journal, journal writer, journal writing, Life satisfaction, well being

imagesDear Journal,

July 12, 2013 11:00am

Today I want to start writing a post on journal writing…not just to point out the normal reasons for keeping a journal.  Those reasons always make me feel guilty and like it’s one more thing I “should do” on my already ridiculously large list. No, I want to first share my passion for journals, and second point out some things people might not think about as well as the research based benefits of journaling. I know…I know. I’m not a consistent journal writer, but so what. I have strong feelings about them and I have something I want to say.

July 12, 2013 12:00pm

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I‘m kind of a journal junkie. Yes, it’s one more piece of evidence that I might have a bit of an addictive personality. All you have to do is look at my yarn collection, my hand knitted sock collection, my beanie baby collection (what was I thinking…but their little faces were so cute), my bowl and plate collection…oh yes and I mustn’t forget my fabric and book collection. Wow the list is bigger than I thought, but back to journals. I LOVE journals and I do have a lot of them. I fall in love with the covers, the different papers, the size, what part of the world they come from…and of course, there are the pens. Every journal deserves it own pen. Am I the only one who does this or am I crazy?

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July 12, 2013 1:00pm

Why are journals so important anyway? For me it’s about the book. I know a lot of people like to journal on the computer but there is something about the book for me. My gut tells me it’s something about capturing me, and keeping it preserved between the covers of a book. It’s evidence that I exist and it distinguishes me as an individual. Sometimes I’m afraid I will be forgotten and the only thing worse than that would be forgetting who I am myself. Somehow collecting my thoughts, my dreams, my inspiration and my creativity in a book, makes me feel safe.

July 12, 2013 1:30pm

1. Journals do not have to include words.

2. You can keep multiple journals, each for different purposes.

3. I like leaving a gratitude journal out for snoopy people to read.

4. Journaling to release emotion is helpful, but for more reasons then people know.

5. Research shows expressive journal writing translates into long term sustained emotional and physical health.

6. Writing allows your subconscious and unconscious to surface and be processed.

July 12, 2013 1:45pm

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I’m going to Rubios for lunch with Michael. One of my clients told me they serve wild fish tacos. I’m kind of excited about that. Healthy fast food … can it be true? I think somebody could make a million dollars by starting a seriously healthy fast food chain. I mean everyone is busy. Who has time to prepare healthy food?

July 12, 2013 3:36pm

I was thinking at lunch (by the way Rubios was fantastic!) that it’s not just about the book. Keeping a journal helps me sort my head out. Not only that but it stimulates my creativity. That’s probably because I have no bounds on what I will write, draw, diagram, or chart. People worry about expressing themselves for fear people will see it.  Some journals or journal entries are for keeping, and some are to be destroyed after being written just like Mission Impossible. Also, and this is important…journals with your most private thoughts need to hidden someplace safe…and then don’t forget where you put them.

July 12, 2013 3:50pm

I have a dream (entrepreneur/design) journal.

Dream Book

Dream Book

A gratitude journal

Gratitude Journal

Gratitude Journal

A problem solving journal, a venting journal, a memoir journal and a picture (as in drawing) journal


A dream (as in sleep) journal, a travel journal, a learning journal which I take to lectures. Big sketch pad journals because they give me space to design

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and a journal to record our journey with my husband’s cancer, which I have called…The Cancer Train

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There are others, but I’m getting a little embarrassed.

July 12, 2013 4:00pm

People assume journal writing balances out over the top emotions because it serves as an outlet.  While that is true, there is another lesser-known reason, which I think is awesome. Whenever a person is flooded with emotion, journal writing is an effective way to de-escalate because it engages the reasonable side of the brain. It’s not just the analytical nature of writing, BUT, the actual translation of thought into word, and even word into letters, and then forming the letters on paper or using the keyboard. That is so cool!

July 12, 2013 4:10pm

Image 24Research has shown happiness is 40% intentional activities, 50% genetic, and 10% situational. The 50% genetic part bothers me, but the fact that 40% is intentional leads me to believe we have more power over our happiness and life satisfaction than we thought. In 2009, Toepher & Walker published an article in The Journal of Writing Research, called “Letters of Gratitude: Improving Well-Being through Expressive Writing. They separate happiness and life satisfaction, identifying both as variables of Well-Being. Now that’s the kind of information that flips the light switch on in my mind. It reminds me of the mistaken belief that thoughts and emotions are the same thing. Happiness and Life satisfaction are two different things. Well when you think about it, it does make sense.

July 12, 2013 4:16pm

Happiness is defined as feelings of gladness, satisfaction, contentment, fulfillment, a sense of purpose and meaning, and joy.

Life satisfaction comes from a personal assessment of one’s quality of life, which can only be determined by the individual.

In other words, I can be having a lot of fun and be happy, but still not have life satisfaction because I may not be doing the things I think are important.

July 12, 2013 4:45pm

So that means I have to be happy doing the things I see as valuable to really have a sense of Well-Being. An example might be tomorrow I’m going to the Farmer’s Market downtown because I love it and because I believe in eating and supporting local. Connected to happiness and life satisfaction is the concept of gratitude. What does this have to do with journal writing? Well in the research paper called “Letters of Gratitude: Improving Well-Being through Expressive Writing” it was hypothesized that if people wrote letters of gratitude their sense of well being would improve because gratitude is evidence of positive judgments, both stemming from and leading to happiness and life satisfaction.

July 12, 2013 5:00pm

Research subjects were asked to write 3 letters expressing gratitude over a period of 8 weeks. The subjects were told to write meaningful content and to avoid trivial letters such as thank-you notes. They were encouraged to be reflective and compose letters from a positive orientation. Letters were written in 2-week intervals and never sent. The findings showed that significant expressions of gratitude did increase levels of happiness, life satisfaction and overall levels of Well-Being.

Wow! This is why gratitude journals are so great! They not only force us to shift  negative thinking to positive, but they help us favorably evaluate our life when we can identify reasons to be grateful.

Further findings in the study showed that people who could express gratitude for the simple things in life, like a ladybug in their garden had higher levels of happiness.

Bottom line: People who write about gratitude have higher levels of happiness, life satisfaction and overall Well-Being. I think I’m going to have to buy a new journal for letter writing.

 July 12, 2013 5:17

Image 23Another study showed that expressive writing over 3-5 consecutive days, translated into overall improved health over a 4-week period.  Amazing! Journal writing might be as effective as vitamins and supplements.

IMG_1459July 12, 2013 10:25pm

Tonight Richard and I went for a walk in The Gardens at Thanksgiving Point. Talk about happiness and life satisfaction…so many things to be grateful for.

July 13, 2013 7:27am

I wonder what time the Farmer’s Market is open. Maybe I can find a handmade journal for writing letters … or maybe that’s not a good idea. It might not be sturdy enough for intensive letter writing. I’ll at least look. I want to try the letters of gratitude experiment. 3 letters over 8 weeks in 2 week intervals. I’m going to have to look for a happiness/life satisfaction/well being scale to establish a baseline so I can pretest and post test. I’ll test before I write the first letter, and two weeks after the third letter. I hope it works. It would be so awesome if it did. It would give me hope for a happier world. Should I publish my letters on my blog? Technically that would add another variable and skew the results of my experiment, but we’ll see.

July 13,2013 8:39am

Ok, after searching high and low I found The Satisfaction With Life Scale (SWLS) which I will use for my measurement tool. I’m going to copy it here so I can look at it easily.

  • 7- Strongly agree
  • 6- Agree
  • 5- Slightly agree
  • 4- Neither agree or disagree
  • 3- Slightly disagree
  • 2- Disagree
  • 1- Strongly disagree

___ In most ways my life is close to my ideal

___ The conditions of my life are excellent

___ I am satisfied with my life

___ So far I have gotten the important things I want in life

___ If I could live my life over, I would change almost nothing

Add up your results and see where you are on the following list:

35-31   Extremely satisfied

26-30   Satisfied

21-25   Slightly satisfied

20        Neutral

15-19   Slightly dissatisfied

10-14   Dissatisfied

5-9       Extremely dissatisfied

July 13, 2013 6:15pm

Tagge's Famous Fruit  Willard Bay Blackberries-The sweetest berries I have ever tasted :-)

Tagge’s Famous Fruit Willard Bay Blackberries-The sweetest berries I have ever tasted 🙂

Darling little fiddlers at the farmer's market

Darling little fiddlers at the farmer’s market

With chocolate like this who needs therapy? Seriously this could put me right out of business. Tony Caputo's

With chocolate like this who needs therapy? Seriously this could put me right out of business. Tony Caputo’s

Rich and I went to the Farmer’s Market and then Tony Caputos for lunch. We had a great time looking at and buying produce (I’ve never heard of lemon spinach before). We watched pet owners and their dogs, and listened to two of the sweetest little fiddlers I’ve ever seen. I didn’t find a journal worth buying, so I will use my old stand by for my letters. I will write my first gratitude letter tomorrow. I think my first letter will be a collective letter to all of my heroes. First I’ll take the pre-test and then I’ll set the timer for 20 minutes. I’m not going to care about spelling or grammar-just 20 minutes of written gratitude.

July 14, 2013 7:55am

I just completed the SWLS and scored a 29. I going to go get my phone so I can set the timer for 20 minutes and write my first letter… Ready, Set, GO!

Dear Nelson, Fred, Eleanor, Reon, David, Audrey, Dwight, Gordon, Scott, Julene, Bruce, Jim, Susie, Richard…and to all of the others who have been an inspiration to me,

I want you to know how much you have all meant to me in my life. We go through life doing our own thing, being ourselves, standing up for what we believe in and have no idea how our lives influence others. Well I want you to know you have made a difference in mine. The times I feel like I am in a maze, you serve as sentinels to guide my way. All of you have had courage to live the life you believe was right. I admire your energy to keep moving when it might have been just as easy to relax and live a life of leisure. I love the way some of you took life experiences that were incomprehensible and learned amazing things. Some of you walked through hell so that you could come out the other side and teach the rest of us how to do it. When I learn about you my heart swells and I want to reach out and shake your hand. You all have been pioneers of peace. You have chosen to make the world a better place by standing up for what is right, encouraging others to be the best they can be, and eased the burdens of many.  Dwight I am grateful for the decisions you made that kept us a free nation. I know I’m looking at the end results of your lives and feeling an urge to do something as important as you, but I am struggling through time as I’m sure you did too. Thank you for not stopping the struggle and persevering during trials and hardships. You had them, I’m sure. You all took those struggles and instead of curling up in a ball and stopping you kept going. Many of you have becaome famous for what you have accomplished but I know fame doesn’t translate into self esteem. I want you to know your lives have helped me grow and I try my hardest to emulate you. You give me hope in the future and a strong desire to want to make a contribution as you did. You are my heroes and I want to tell everybody about you. Eleanor, I am grateful that despite your depression you forced yourself to be outwardly focused. I can only imagine how hard it was. 

Times up. I’m just going to sign the letter

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your strong example and the inspiration you are to me.

With sincere gratitude,

Barbara

July 14, 2013 8:28am

Writing the letter was an interesting experience. I didn’t have time to finish and I’m sure I could’ve said things more eloquently, had I had more time to think. There were moments when gratitude swelled in me and other moments when I pushed myself to think. Actually, now I’m left with questions about gratitude. Surprisingly to me I realize I need to explore it more fully, which already is opening doors of unexplored happiness for me.

July 14, 2013 8:57am

The end.

Well that’s it for this week. I hope you have caught a little bit of “journal fever” and are thinking about ways you can incorporate journal writing into your life. Maybe you will take the 3 letter challenge as I have. If you do, let me know how it goes. I’d really be interested to hear about your experiences.

Because this post was written as a giant series of journal entries it is un-edited.

Take care and watch for next weeks installment of “Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way.” Many people read it last week but didn’t vote. Give it a try-It’s fun and can in no way be connected back to you.

Until then, may you find your cup half full 🙂

Barbara (The Blog Whisperer)

P.S The links below are some great articles on journal writing that I found fascinating. Take a look at them.

http://www.spring.org.uk/2007/09/practicing-gratitude-can-increase.php

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/write-yourself-well/201208/expressive-writing

http://books.google.com/books?id=CPkoxnWwzaUC&pg=PT44&lpg=PT44&dq=expressive+writing+about+gratitude&source=bl&ots=o6I7DJv2og&sig=QgfopmNU1sJc6WKTac-ZMbc1868&hl=en&sa=X&ei=bijgUaqdNe_oiwLOiYCICQ&ved=0CEsQ6AEwBQ

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Viewing the Polling Box Results

12 Friday Jul 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Resilience, Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: A Game

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Facebook, fun fun fun, Michelangelo, results button, Seld Discovery the Michelangelo Way, Self discovery


To view how others are voting in “Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way,” all you have to do is click on the “View Results” button.

Right now go back to the post titled “Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way” and vote!

Share this with your friends on Facebook and have them play along. See if you can guess how they’ll vote. There is no risk of identification, just fun, fun, fun 🙂

What question do I have in store for you next week? You’ll just have to check back to see.  Until then…

Cheers 🙂

Barbara (The Blog Whisperer)

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Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: A Game

12 Friday Jul 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Resilience, Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: A Game

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Games, Identity, Michelangelo, Self awareness, Self discovery

images“In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.” Michelangelo

For most of us the answer to the question, “Who am I?” is work in progress. There are times when we are certain who we are, what we like, and what we want; and other times when it seems we have no idea at all.

It has been said that identity isn’t just about what you have done, but what you would like to experience.

Playing “Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way” is a fun game designed to help you discover who you really are. You will be given a series of choices and asked which option resonates most with you.  Some will seem easy . . . black and white, while others will require careful contemplation.

Play the game each week and over time watch how your identity takes form; like Michelangelo chipping away at a block of marble, only to reveal what he already knew was inside.

Included in the game is a polling box in which you can cast your vote and see how your answer compares with others.

Game Rules:

1. Think about each option and decide which one you identify with the most.

2. You may feel like you can identify with both, but choose the one you lean towards.

3. Feel free to think about the options in any way you like: literally, symbolically, metaphorically, preferentially, etc.

4. Claim your identity by voting in the polling box at the bottom of the page, and just for the fun of it see what others are saying.

5. Check in each week to answer the latest question that will reveal your identity.

6. Keep a written record of your responses and watch a description of yourself unfold.

Option: Play this game with your friend or partner. See how well you know each other and build your relationship by sharing aspects of your personality.

Ready to play?

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

This Week’s Question: Round 1

ARE YOU MORE A DAISY…OR…A ROSE?

Image 2

Don’t forget to cast your awesome vote and check back next week for another question designed to help you define for yourself, “Who am I?”

Until next time … may you find your cup half full 🙂

Barbara

P.S. I hope the polling thing works. I won’t know unless you try it so help me out and cast your vote. If it doesn’t work I’ll figure it out for next week. Thanks

Image

 

 

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14 Important Things You Need to Know When it Feels Like Everything is Going Wrong

07 Sunday Jul 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Resilience, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

#emotionalsupport, #everythingisgoingwrong, #stressed, #trouble, Gratitude, Gratitude journal, Nelson Mandela, Patience, Resilience

Trouble by Barbara Scoville

Trouble
by Barbara Scoville

After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. ~Nelson Mandela Continue reading →

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