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Barbara Scoville, LCSW

~ Pioneers of Peace™

Barbara Scoville, LCSW

Category Archives: Uncategorized

Ripples on the Ocean of Kindness

03 Sunday Jan 2021

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Uncategorized

≈ Comments Off on Ripples on the Ocean of Kindness

Tags

Charitable Giving, Pioneers of Peace

Photo by Emre Kuzu on Pexels.com

If you google the “Starfish Story”, multiple curated images will appear with the beloved story of the old man who came upon a boy throwing starfish back into the ocean. Confused, the old man asked the boy what he was doing. The boy explained the surf was up and the tide was going out. If he didn’t help the starfish, they would die. The old man said, “But son, there are miles and miles of beach and thousands of starfish. You can’t possibly make a difference.” After listening politely, the boy smiled, bent down and picked up another starfish throwing it into the water and said, “I made a difference to that one.” 

As a compassionate knitter, otherwise known as a charity knitter, I have often wondered if the hours of time and money I put into creating hats, mittens, blankets, and booties ever make a difference.

Just last week I was listening to a podcast on “Effective Altruism”. According to the Effective Altruism model, it would appear my time and money could be better spent. In fact, according to that model I should do research on what saves the most lives and currently, that is donating money for mosquito netting to prevent malaria. The model encourages us to donate money to organizations who make it their business to identify the most effective NGO’s and then to just write out a check knowing we have done our part; similar to making contributions to a church’s humanitarian aid fund. 

As a side note in the same podcast, they talked about the guilty pleasure of donating to organizations that are meaningful to us rather than the identified most effective, as if it could be likened to spending money on getting your nails done instead of buying groceries.

A couple of weeks ago I had one of those “I’ll never forget it experiences,” that cracked my heart open. As some of you know in late September I was diagnosed with a low-grade breast cancer that required surgery and subsequent radiation therapy…

One day as I was waiting for my radiation treatment, I saw 2 large white garbage bags filled with knit hats and a basket sitting on the counter overflowing with loomed knitted hats. In my mind I wondered, do people really use those hats. I remember one summer my knitting group made several baby hats and I actually had a hard time finding a hospital that would take them. When I finally found one willing to accept them, I was taken to a room filled with handmade donations. I was then asked to sign a paper saying it was okay if they donated the handknit items to other organizations if they couldn’t use them. I have also heard stories of people finding their donated handiwork at local thrift shops such as Deseret Industries or the Salvation Army. 

So, on a whim as I was walking out I asked the receptionist if they are able to use all of the hats that get donated to them. Frankly, I also wondered about the scratchy yarn that made up most of the hats. How comfortable could that be on a bald head? 

“Just out of curiosity,” I said, “Do people really take those hats? I saw those white bags full and wonder what you do with them all.” I explained that I’m part of a charity knitting group and we wonder if we are doing any good or if we are just filling hospital storage space.

Her reply stunned me.

“Oh yes” she said. “I was worried we wouldn’t get any hats this year due to Covid.” She went on to say, “You have to understand, every 15 minutes we are treating multiple people with radiation and that doesn’t even count everyone who is receiving Chemotherapy.”

And then this…

“You also need to understand we treat people across all incomes; from homeless people to billionaires.”

“Let me tell you a story,” she said.

“Last Christmas we were treating a woman who was homeless. One day after her daily treatment, she was getting ready to leave and she saw the basket of knitted hats. She asked if she could take one.  We said of course, and then she said, “Would you mind if I took a bunch of them? You see all of my friends are homeless too. I would love to give them all a hat for Christmas.”

The receptionist who was telling me the story didn’t have to say another word. We looked at each other in silence, both of us with tears in our eyes. 

We have no idea when we act on an impression of kindness where it will land. My compassionate knitting group meets once a month. We think we are knitting hats for cancer patients, or for elders in indigeneous communities, but once we make our offering it is a mystery as to who will receive it. Someone once shared with me a situation in which a hand-quilted baby blanket was donated to our local children’s hospital. Instead of it being placed in the closet with the other donated blankets, a staff member took it for herself. When I first heard that story, I was disappointed. But now I ask myself, “What is the rest of the story?” 

This year I hope to remember that giving is an act of unconditional love. It is a reminder that we are all connected, whether we know each other or not. I hope to let go of needing to know the end of the story because sometimes the end of the story is much grander than I could’ve ever imagined.

Happy New Year Everyone!

May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be safe from inner and outer harm. May you be happy. May you know you make a difference in this world with every act of kindness you offer.

Blessing,

Barbara

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Food for Thought

06 Sunday Dec 2020

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Uncategorized

≈ Comments Off on Food for Thought

Video from KarmaTube

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When an Empty Basket is a Good Thing

03 Sunday Jul 2016

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Altruism, Compassionate Knitting, humanitarian service, making a difference, Pioneers of Peace, Resilience, The Power to Do, Uncategorized

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Tags

Charity Knitting, Compassion, Gratitude, Kindness

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Pioneers of Peace™ is the humanitarian arm of Barbara Scoville, LCSW. Did you know there is a designated blog that chronicles our adventures? To find out more, Read Pioneers of Peace’s latest blog article “When an Empty Basket is a Good Thing”  and consider becoming a regular follower.

 

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Reflections on Compassionate Knitting

21 Tuesday Jun 2016

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Altruism, Compassionate Knitting, humanitarian service, making a difference, Pioneers of Peace, Resilience, Uncategorized

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I am a “Compassionate Knitter” Newbie

Throughout my adult life I have heard stories about “Compassionate Knitting,” otherwise known as “Charity Knitting.” I’ve been touched by people’s kindness and their willingness to use their time to benefit others, but until recently I have never wanted to participate.

My own knitting has been primarily “me” focused. There are a number of reasons why.

1. My knitting time is very precious to me; there never is enough.

2. There are so many beautiful things I want to knit for myself; my eyes are bigger than my stomach.

3. The tactile experience of fine yarn is therapeutic to me. Compassionate knitting usually requires acrylic yarn that can stand a lot of abuse.

4. I knit several sweaters for my mother until I discovered she had no idea how much expense and work went into them. Although I’m sure she was grateful, her negative comments regarding sleeve length and fit in general are what I remember.

5. The several projects I already have in progress compete with each other. They whisper, “Finish me,” “No finish me,” Me first, you spent so much money on me.”

6. I simply have not taken the time to deeply think about other’s suffering, and how my talent could ease their burden.

7. To be perfectly honest, I do think about suffering a lot. As a clinical social worker my life is immersed in suffering. Knitting is the counter balance, my creative renewal that I hold sacred.

Having said that, inspired by my friend Warren last Spring, I have become an initiate in the community of compassionate knitters.

Really quick…the back-story…

A couple of months ago Warren approached me while at our Friday morning knitting group, and asked if I could find a home for several hats he had knit in an attempt to use up his stash. At the time I was in the middle of organizing a diaper drive for our local refugee population. I said sure and it was agreed that we would meet at our local gym where he would give them to me. The following Monday morning we met at 6:55am and I was given two grocery bags stuffed full of warm hand knit hats. They weren’t just physically warm; they were emotionally warm. When I got home and looked at them spread out on my kitchen table I felt the physical manifestation of kindness and charity.

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Lesson #1

Acts of Kindness are Contagious

Warren’s goodness made me want to be a better person. I immediately thought about 2 hats that have been on the needles for over 2 years. It wouldn’t take long to finish them and then I could make his pile even larger. My next thought was of my own stash and the fact that rather than sitting in a drawer it could be sitting on someone’s head keeping them warm. I finished knitting the two hats in a couple of days, which brings me to Lesson #2

Lesson #2

Compassionate Knitting isn’t as Time Consuming as I Thought it Would be.

After completing the two hats, and feeling pretty good about “finishing something” I thought about other kinds of hats. My daughter’s cousin through marriage had sadly just lost a premature baby. Preemie Hats! After hearing all about the tragedy in this family, I had a desire to offer love and support for those going through such difficult times. I found a wonderful free pattern, went to the store and bought very soft baby yarn. Knitting preemie hats is like eating potato chips. They are so cute and fun to knit that I couldn’t just stop at one. They only take about half a day to knit. How do you spell immediate gratification?

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Because they are so easy they are the perfect project to take with you when you are anticipating a wait. I love that I am doing something worthwhile during the time that I used to think was being wasted.

Lesson #3

Using up Stash is Good, but a Worthy Excuse to Buy Yarn is Better

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Buying yarn brings me joy 🙂 Walking into rooms filled with fiber and color are like Shangri-La. The only problem is that I have enough yarn to keep me busy until I die. However, if I have a nobel purpose, I can justify additional purchases. I love chatting with shop owners and their staff about the perfect yarn choice for my compassionate projects and I feel really good about supporting our local yarn purveyors.

Lesson #4

Small Compassionate Knitting Projects Provide Opportunities to Learn New Techniques and Stitches

Interested in trying a new technique or stitch? A hat can double as a swatch. I learned how to cast off and then pick up purlwise to create a beautiful effect.

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Small projects are great opportunities to practice designing which can later be applied to larger projects.

Lesson #5

Compassionate Knitting Attracts People who Feel Empowered to Make a Difference

There is some controversy about whether compassionate knitting is truly helpful. Where do all of the hats, scarfs, mittens, blankets, socks, and dog sweaters go? While organizing POP’s Operation Love Bundles, I was specifically told not to contribute hand knit scarfs. Homeless youth prefer fleece. I have heard stories about the countless hats, scarves, and fleece blankets being warehoused at our local charitable distribution centers. Are compassionate knitters naive? Could their time and resources be put to more effective ways of relieving suffering? Or are they choosing to make their voice and their hearts heard through the clicking of their needles? I don’t have an answer.

What I do know is that I am currently participating in compassionate knitting because I like being connected to people who spend a portion of their time using their talent to make a difference in someone’s life. That’s an attribute I admire. It reinforces my belief that there is more good than bad.

Lesson #6

If You Ask, Some will Come and Some will Run

For close to 4 years now, I have been asking others to join me in charitable causes. Nothing is harder than asking people to give of their time and resources. It’s a boundary issue. Most will decline, but there are those who are looking for opportunities to make a difference. It is wonderful to see those individuals and groups rise to the surface and contribute. Even though I may not know them well, it feels like a joyous reunion with kindred spirits. Combine that feeling with knitting and it becomes intoxicating.

Lesson #7

Compassion and Gratitude go Hand in Hand

Warren told me he knits the cuff of his hats to match twice the length of his ears. Doing this provides a double cuff which maximizes the warmth the hat can provide. He wasn’t just using up his stash. Warren knows what it feels like to be outside in the cold all day. It was his job. He told me he used to knit hats for the men on his crew so they could better brave the winter.

When I knit preemie hats I wanted them to be soft and adorable. I imagine their mothers faces when they see their babies in the isolate wearing a strawberry on their head or a big beautiful flower.

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Currently I’m knitting women’s summer chemo hats. I actually went to Sally’s Beauty Supply and bought a wig head so that I could block the hats as well as see how attractive they would be on a bald head.

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I did some research and learned that hats with holes are not a good idea for the summer. Soft cottons and cotton acrylic blends are preferable. I gave each skein of yarn the neck and under the chin test for softness. I thought about cloches vs beanies, and brims to keep the sun off the face and the neck. I thought about hats to sleep in, learning that even summer nights could be chilly for a bald head on chemo drugs. Above all I wanted the hats I knitted to be beautiful because if I were sick that’s what I would want.

And that’s my point. “Compassionate knitting” has ignited my compassion. I took the time to put myself in someone else’s shoes. Of course I can’t know what a person with cancer is feeling, but I’m a little closer and if nothing else, in my own way I’m saying you’re not alone.

As I touch the suffering in the world in this small way I am reminded of what I have to be grateful for and savor those things a little bit more and therein lies the magic. I see the suffering and can say, “There but for the grace of God go I.” For this round I’m safe, but I know it’s coming as it has and always will, and I hope I won’t be alone.

Lesson #8

Diversity Applies to Giving Also

There are as many ways to give as there are stars in the sky and they are all beautiful.

Lesson #9

Who is the Giver and Who is the Receiver? That is the Question

The answer: It is one continuous round. At it’s best, the lines are very hard to define and that’s what I’ve gotten caught up in. Right now, my love for knitting and giving have become a Venn diagram; the middle circle, where the two overlap is creating an energy that’s just feels really good. I am definitely on the “receiving end.”

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Onesies Hand Knit by Sandra Ronca Alias Slouchybee on Ravelry

In the next couple of days I will share with you yarn choices and patterns for summer women’s chemo hats If you are interested in contributing, I will be taking the completed projects to Huntsman Cancer Center the 1st of August.

Drop-off locations are:

Me-You know where to find me

Blazing Needles, 1365 South 1100 East SLC, Ut 84105

Unraveled Sheep, 9316 South 700 East Sandy, Ut 84070

Knitting Pretty, 1393 West 9000 South West Jordan, Ut 84088

Sending love your way,

Barbara

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Kudos to Sandra Ronca aka Sloucheybee on Ravelry and her charity knitting group “Craft Around Corners” Sandra is sporting her newly knit chemo hat.

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What Really Matters

20 Sunday Mar 2016

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Inspiration, Mindfulness, Resilience, Uncategorized, Wellness

≈ 5 Comments

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Dear Friends,

I hope wherever you are… you’re drinking in the beauty of this first day of Spring. Continue reading →

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2015 Love Bundles is a Success!

25 Sunday Oct 2015

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Uncategorized

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Check out the humanitarian arm of Barbara Scoville LCSW by reading the most recent blog post on our Pioneers of Peace website.

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Homemade Refried Beans

30 Sunday Aug 2015

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Budget meals, Clean eating, recipes, Slow Food Movement, Soul Food, Staple recipes

Homemade Refried Beans

You’ll never want to buy a can of beans again after tasting these and seeing how easy and cheap they are to make.

Beans, beans, the musical fruit… the more you eat the more you toot… the more you toot the better you are… so eat some beans and toot some more.

On a more serious note (no pun intended) beans are one of my favorite comfort foods. They are easy on the budget, taste delicious, and are very good for you. This time of year they are particularly delicious because of all the fresh produce that’s available.

Ingredients:  2 cups dry pinto beans (rinsed), 2 tomatoes, 1 onion, 1 green chile or jalapeño, fresh garlic clove, salt, 2 splashes of olive oil.

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Place rinsed beans in a heavy pot and cover with 1 1/2 inches of water. Add salt and 1 splash of olive oil. IMG_3400

Bring to a boil.IMG_3401 Remove from heat, Put lid on pot. Rest for 30 minutes.IMG_3402 Remove lid and strain beans. Rinse beans thoroughly (this is what removes the toot)IMG_3403Put beans in slow cooker, add vegetables coarsely chopped, 2 tsp salt and another splash of olive oil.
IMG_3405Cook on high and set timer for 8 hours. Be prepared for heavenly aromas.IMG_3406 After 8 hours your beans should look like thisIMG_3409To make sure your beans are done, take a couple out and smash them. If they are sill hard return them to the cookerIMG_3410 Ladle the excess liquid from the beans. Save the liquid.IMG_3411 Using an immersion blender, puree the beans, adding liquid back as needed to form your desired consistency. If you don’t have an immersion blender, you can use a blender or food processor.IMG_3412 IMG_3413 Salt to taste.IMG_3414Voila!IMG_3415Your beans are now ready to eat. Garnish them with salsa, cheese, chopped onions, chopped peppers, cilantro…the sky’s the limit. Or ladle them onto a tortilla, add some cheese and salsa and roll them up into a burrito.

If you want to be adventurous try a little bowl of hot beans with cottage cheese in them. They look like vomit but taste delicious! It’s a perfect low fat high protein dinner. A fresh apple eaten along with the beans is a delicacy. I know it sounds crazy but it’s really good.

I hope you enjoy this simple staple recipe. Stay tuned for my fresh salsa recipe in the near future.

ImageCheers!

Barbara

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Embrace Your Uglies: They’re Sheep in Wolves’ Clothing

18 Saturday Jul 2015

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Uncategorized

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Barbara Scoville, LCSW

I see you Mara...Sit down and have a cup of tea with me I see you Mara…Sit down and have a cup of tea with me

…Oh Crap!!! I thought. The hair on my arms stood up, and I immediately knew that shutting the door was a big mistake. Everything inside me was screaming danger, danger…

It was in the spring of the year 2000. I was doing an internship at the University of Utah’s bone marrow transplant unit, and on this particular day I was screening prospective transplant candidates, by giving them psychological assessments.

Bone marrow transplantation is a difficult and lengthy procedure which has the potential of causing a person to regress emotionally under the strain. It’s important to know in advance potential problems that could arise.

I had just said goodbye to a lovely 15 year-old girl with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, when I walked into the waiting room to get my next patient.  “Mr. So in So, I’m ready for you,”…

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7 Tips for Managing Stress

12 Friday Jun 2015

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Uncategorized

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Barbara Scoville, LCSW

stress_cat_tile_coaster

How do you spell stress?

K-I-D-S

W-O-R-K

M-O-N-E-Y

S-C-H-O-O-L

M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E

D-E-C-I-S-I-O-N-S

L-I-F-E.

Barbara’s definition of stress:

The physical reaction one has when he/she feels like there is more to do, learn, or simply be, than is physically or mentally possible. It is the reaction one experiences when having thoughts like, “I can’t handle this,” or “I can do this, but it will deplete my energy and resources,” accompanied by feelings of helplessness and or fear and resentment.

To paraphrase one of the dictionary definitions I read: Stress is pressure applied to something. Ha! I’m visualizing a cartoon elephant sitting on a balloon, stretching it as far as it will go until it eventually pops. How many times have you felt like that?

High Stress has become more common than the common cold and even though we hate it, we accept it as a necessary evil in our daily lives. I…

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Destination: REAL

24 Sunday May 2015

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Uncategorized

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Throughout your life, seek to be “Real”

Barbara Scoville, LCSW

Get Real!

Are you for real?

Be Real.

Really?

“Where is she going with this?” you might ask. Well, last week I heard two comments that caught my attention and gave me pause to think. One was, “I just want to be real,” and the second was, “I don’t know if he is being real with me.”

“Interesting,” I thought. “These are words I hear so often that their meaning is taken for granted; but “What exactly do they mean?” In my mind’s eye I saw two images.

The first was of a person unzipping the suit he was wearing and letting it fall to the ground. After the suit fell to the ground a new suit unzipped, and it too fell to the ground. This went on and on until the person was left standing in simple clothes, radiating authenticity, wearing his “real” self.

The second image was of…

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