If you haven’t checked out the humanitarian arm of Barbara Scoville LCSW, take a peek at the website www. pioneersofpeace.org. This site, created by myself is designed to cultivate compassion and provide opportunities to give back to your community and the world. There is a wonderful synergy that takes place in the space between giver and receiver. I hope you are making room for it in your life because it is the energy that gives rise to resilience and wisdom.
Currently we are hosting a project called “Operation Love Bundles.” If you have been following this blog, you may recall we did the same thing last February for Valentine’s Day.
Essentially we are collecting needed items for our homeless youth to brave the impending cold weather. In Salt Lake City alone, there are over 500 homeless youth, many who are sleeping on the streets and in the canyons.
Our goal is to assemble 200 “Love Bundles” and donate them to VOA Homeless Youth Resource Center by Oct 22.
You can’t see it, but there is a hummingbird in this tree. I promise.
A friend of mine had two hummingbirds fly into her house the other day. She said they had to wear themselves out before she could scoop them up and set them free. There’s a message in that isn’t there. Imagine how much more energy we could have, how much more creative we could be, how much more love we could offer…
Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world. ~ John Milton
NOTE: IF YOU DON”T HAVE MUCH TIME, SKIP TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST AND WATCH THE YOU TUBE VIDEO. IT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO 🙂
July 15, 2013 5:52 am
Last week in my post Journal Fever and Life Satisfaction , I began a personal experiment in which I wrote the first of three letters expressing gratitude. The experiment will continue over an 8-week period of time; writing my second and third letters in two-week intervals. Right before I wrote my first letter, I completed a life satisfaction survey to establish my baseline and will finish up the experiment with a post-test 2 weeks after my third letter has been written. Of course I’m curious to see if I fall into the majority of those whose life satisfaction scores improved.
As I was writing my first letter I had some disturbing feelings, which has caused me to pursue the concept of gratitude on a deeper level this week.
I’m just going to make myself naked here and admit… there were moments when I felt like I was falling off a cliff because I couldn’t think quickly enough of what I was grateful for. The thoughts were not coming the way I assumed they would.
I didn’t lift my pencil once in the 20 min period of time I was allowed, but it gave me real anxiety, and actually a fair amount of shame. I’ve always considered gratitude to be one of my strengths, so when I found myself so quickly at a loss for words, the background chatter in my mind was chanting “What’s wrong with you?”
I’m inclined to think I’ve become so busy and outwardly focused that I have let my sense of gratitude slip. I can see the ghost of my dad pointing his finger at me, repeating the single word, SHAME, each time taking 5 seconds to annunciate. STOP!!! Okay, I have banished my illusion, but I am left with a serious question. “What’s up with this gratitude thing?”
July 15, 2013 6:05am
I found a really great article in Psychology Today that talks about all of the benefits both physical and mental, of practicing gratitude. If you click on the quote below you will be linked to the article for your reading pleasure.
Energy? Did someone say energy? I’ve been so concerned about my energy levels lately. I thought it might be connected to not getting enough sleep, in-proper nutrition, definitely lack of exercise or maybe I’m just an overall low energy person. I never thought of low levels of gratitude. Hmmm, I feel another experiment brewing…
July 15, 2013 6:58am
I spent the last hour reading articles on gratitude and see the value much like I see the value of mindfulness. Not only does practicing gratitude require slowing down, but the act of gratitude is experienced deep in the cellular level…or deeper… perhaps it’s transcendent. I wonder if gratitude affects the amygdala (the fight or flight center of the brain) positively like prayer and meditation. I would think it does.
July 15, 2013 7:15am
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright coppered kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown papered packages tied up with strings…these are a few of my favorite things… Maria had it all figured out.
July 15, 2013 7:10pm
Make no mistake about it: Cultivating gratitude takes work. This morning I tried to spend my entire drive to work thinking about the things I am grateful for. I noticed I was coming up with superficial stuff- the same old rote things I always think of. I kept getting distracted. Another eye-opener; I have taken gratitude for granted. Gratitude is another verb just like patience. It needs to be proactively practiced so it can become a habit, which then can become internalized.
July 16, 2013 5:39am
I think a way to deepen my sense of gratitude, is to not only say or think what I’m grateful for, but also why I’m grateful.
Example #1
If I’m grateful for my family…why am I grateful for my family?
…because they give my life purpose and meaning…because I feel loved…because I can serve them… because they are there for me when I need them…because I care deeply about their happiness and it helps me feel like we are all connected…because they help me grow in so many ways; patience, selflessness, understanding, empathy, charity, faith, hope, accomplishment, wisdom…they are my friends and my teachers, and I love their uniqueness …the list goes on and on. Yep, as I think on a deeper level, my heart swells with gratitude.
Example #2
I am grateful for The Farmer’s Market… because…
…it makes me happy… somehow it makes me feel like I’m with my tribe… I’m grateful for the people who grow life sustaining produce, the beekeepers who passionately produce honey that makes my mouth happy… all of the colors at the market that make me feel alive… I feel safe in an environment where people are creating rather then complaining and destroying… I love participating in the bounty of life… life is good at the Farmer’s Market and when I’m there I am in the flow.
July 16, 2013 6:04am
I’ve been reading an article on gratitude featuring Brother David Steindl-Rast (BDSR), an expert on gratitude. He says people who practice gratitude create a society that the world is craving. Unhappy societies are filled with Exploitation, Oppression, and Violence. Grateful living is a remedy for all three of those because gratitude acknowledges what we have, and the latter focuses on what we lack. I love that!
July 17, 2013 5:19am
Yesterday at work I read more from BDSR. I was so impressed with his life’s work focused on gratitude. I bought one of his books from Amazon called “Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer; An Approach to Life in Fullness.” It should come tomorrow. I can hardly wait for it to arrive.
July 17, 2013 5:26am
Yesterday I talked about gratitude with my clients. I watched their faces soften, and smiles appear where tears once were as they remembered the times they knew they were loved and why. When they started speaking about what they were grateful for, they didn’t want to stop even though I gave them opportunities. Maybe at least in part, that is how gratitude increases energy.
I read another article about a campaign in which people all over the world committed to not being critical or complaining for 21 days. They wore purple bracelets as a symbol of their commitment. I assume the results were favorable, because a book was written about it.
I think people who choose to abstain from criticizing and complaining, go through the same detox one does when they choose to give up electronics or sugar for a week. Chronic complaining is a bad habit that we sadly rely on to structure our life. It can become part of our identity if we are not careful. Some people are actually proud of being cynical.
Criticizing and complaining are the opposite of gratitude and they bring with them darkness. They are two of the biggest energy drainers there are. Think about it! What does it feel like to be surrounded by criticism, sarcasm, cynicism, and complaining?
July 18, 2013 5:19am
If you were to picture gratitude, what would you see?
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I ‘d see awe and wonder in people’s faces. I’d see smiles and tears. I’d see hearts. I’d see a lot of the same things I would see on the faces of people who are happy and of those who love. I would see what it looks like to have needs met. What is the difference between happiness, love, and gratitude?
Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others ~Marcus Tullius Cicero
I think gratitude is the expression of appreciation and acknowledgment that there is something greater than you that has made your life better. It can and should be proactive. It is a magic elixir. Poor a little gratitude on life and things transform.
July 21, 2013 5:32 pm
It’s Sunday, 5:32pm. My family (children and grandchildren) are downstairs waiting for me to make dinner, so I have to wrap this up.
I hope you don’t mind traveling with my mind as I ponder my focus for the week. My wish for you is to take this topic of gratitude and assess where you are with it.
Join me in cultivating a deeper awareness of things to be grateful for. In a sense, we can all be pioneers of peace by making this world a little sweeter through focusing on what we have, and less on what we lack.
Please take the time to watch the You Tube video below. It is written and narrated by Brother David Steindl Rast and will jumpstart you on your path to gratitude.
Until next time, may you find your cup half full 🙂
Barbara (The Blog Whisperer)
P.S. This is another post raw and un-edited
P.S. P.S. Stop back later in the week to see what’s new in Self Discovery: The Michelangelo Way. It’s not to late to cast your vote on whether you are more oil paints or finger paints. Chow!
Hey Everyone, let me introduce you to NoMo (nicknamed for No Motivation) the suckerfish. NoMo’s salary comes from the commission he earns convincing unsuspecting humans that motivation must be present for action to take place. Annually he makes a seven figure salary providing an upper class standard of living for his family. NoMo’s favorite treat is an energy drink called “HDMG” an acronym for Human Drain-My Gain, which is the byproduct sucked from human inactivity. Just look at that belly! His mother is very proud.
Let’s begin by looking at the barriers to getting things done. The first barrier I will address is the mistaken belief that motivation must be present to get things done.
Energy Sucker #1 The belief that motivation must be present to get things done
Most of us have experienced the energy we receive from motivation, and assume it is a pre-requisite for moving forward. “I’ll do it when I feel like it,” is the barometer for initiating action. Often we get super stoked about pursuing a goal but after a period of time, lose the fire. In other words, when the newness of the idea wears off, the energy leaves with it. What’s a person to do?
One of the biggest barriers to getting things done is the belief that we must be: motivated, feel like it, or want to accomplish whatever the task may be. It can be as simple as emptying the dishwasher or complex as getting the college degree you have always wanted.
Motivation gives us the natural energy we crave. We often assume it’s the only fuel that will run our motor. If it isn’t present, we are out of gas. 😦
However, there’s an alternative fuel source: Willpower, generated through self discipline. Think of a recumbent bike or an elliptical trainer. When you position yourself on the equipment, it doesn’t turn on until you begin peddling or stepping.
Wantingto to do something is nota prerequisite for doing it!
Once we get moving, the energy we associate with motivation often appears 🙂
When we think about doing something, are we thinking about the effort it will require or are we thinking about the end result of obtaining our goal?
Question: How many times do we confuse ourselves, thinking that being motivated is a higher priority than actually attaining our goal?
Tip:
For the sake of conversation, let’s use cleaning out the basement as the desired goal.
Cultivatewillpowerby visualizing a detailed picture of your goal.
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Visualize what achieving that goal would look like, including how you and others would feel.
Spend some time embedding that picture in your mind, and feel it in every fiber of your being.
Next , MOVE and DO
Remember the magic formula for growth is: Know – Feel – Act (FYI, yesterday I re-posted an earlier post called “Tap into Your Resilience” which explains the magic formula, Know-Feel-Act.)
Postscript: There will be times when moving…or doing does not activate motivation. During these times, recognize that achievement trumps motivation and is rewarding in and of itself.
The short video below contains some of the latest research on cultivating willpower. It’s energizing… just watch it!
Please share your tips on how to overcome lack of motivation by pressing the leave a comment button in the top right hand corner of the post. Thanks to all those who have contributed your thoughts on other posts. Your thoughts add so much to the discussion. To read previous comments, tap the comments button in the upper right hand corner. Apparently this blog template does not allow for the comments to just show up at the bottom of the post.
“I hate getting ready for bed!” I am so comfortable reading in my chair at night that I just don’t want to move. The next thing you know I drift off to sleep and when I wake up it’s all I can do to get myself to bed. Washing my face and brushing my teeth is torture.”
“Homework!!! I dread doing my homework. I don’t like what I’m studying and I can’t see the point. I’d rather be eating Oreos and playing Call of Duty.”
“Housework!!! Really? Do I have to clean the house. There are so many other things I’d rather be doing. Facing six loads of laundry and dishes piled up in the sink is so overwhelming, and not only that it would take me all day.”
“Making important phone calls!!! I hate making important phone calls. I’m afraid people will think I’m stupid and they won’t give me what I want.”
Disclaimer: The statements I have written are a combination of my voice and others. They DO NOT represent any one person.
Fill in the blank:
I have trouble getting started_________________________________________
A couple of weeks ago in preparation for this post, I asked several people to share with me what they have trouble doing or getting started on. As I looked over the different statements they made, it became clear to me, that underneath each challenge, there is host of reasons for not being able to get started…and cause lack of motivation.
As the reasons started piling up…
I began to think about how many talk about the need for powering through lack of motivation, but rarely address the root issues (with the exception of depression) causing the lack of motivation. It occurred to me that if we understood the reasons… or barriers stopping us, we would have something to sink our teeth into and work with.
With that, I’ve decided to slow down and explore each barrier, and I invite you to walk with me by contributing your thoughts on the subject. Thanks to those who commented on my original “Power to Do” post, dated 3/10/13. Your thoughts were insightful and helpful to all those who read them. For those of you who didn’t get a chance to read them, please take the time to do so. I’m betting you will be glad you did.
So far I have identified fourteen barriers to accomplishment and before I go any further, I want to list those for you, so you know where we will be heading for the duration of this series.
The List a.k.a. “The Energy Suckers”
1. The belief that motivation has to be present to get things done
Last week in my post 
I’m inclined to think I’ve become so busy and outwardly focused that I have let my sense of gratitude slip. I can see the ghost of my dad pointing his finger at me, repeating the single word, SHAME, each time taking 5 seconds to annunciate. STOP!!! Okay, I have banished my illusion, but I am left with a serious question. “What’s up with this gratitude thing?”
Yesterday at work I read more from BDSR. I was so impressed with his life’s work focused on gratitude. I bought one of his books from Amazon called “Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer; An Approach to Life in Fullness.” It should come tomorrow. I can hardly wait for it to arrive.
Barbara Scoville, LCSW 