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Barbara Scoville, LCSW

~ Pioneers of Peace™

Barbara Scoville, LCSW

Tag Archives: health

Pink Milk Nights and Looking Forward

02 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Emotion School, Life Mastery Skills, Mindfulness, Resilience, Wellness

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Adventure, Authenticity, Balance, Compassion, Courage, Creativity, Happiness, health, Inspiration, Joseph Campbell, Mindfulness, New Year, New Year's Eve, New Year's Resolutions, Simplicity

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“You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.” ~ Joseph Campbell

 Pink Milk Nights and Looking Forward

As I sit writing this post, I’m drinking a cup of herbal tea heavily laden with orange blossom honey.  Looking out my bedroom window, I see the Oquirrh  Mountains which are blanketed with lavender snow and touched by peach colored clouds. Heaven. Tonight promises to be a “Pink Milk Night.”

When my children were young we made a special treat when the evening sky was pink. Grenadine syrup and milk; aka “Pink Milk.” Happy memories of days gone by fill my mind as I ponder the year to come.

I don’t know what this year will bring and I have learned to be careful about exerting too much will over the future. This year I look to principles rather than outcomes

Rather than lose 20 pounds… I choose health.

Rather than going to Europe… I choose mind-expanding adventure.

Rather than cleaning and de-cluttering my home… I choose simplicity.

Rather than saving and making more money… I choose abundance.

Rather than gaining 1000 readers… I choose authenticity.

Rather than folding 1000 cranes… I choose creativity.

Rather than being confident… I choose courage.

Rather than being efficient with my time… I choose to be mindful.

Rather than striving for perfection… I choose balance.

Rather than numbering the ways I will serve… I choose compassion.

Rather than reading countless books…I choose inspiration.

Rather than trying to fix what is wrong… I choose happiness.

Tonight may you begin the journey of finding the life that is waiting for you in 2014. Happiest of New Year‘s to you my dear friends.

Love,

Barbara

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A Caregiver’s Manifesto

19 Saturday Oct 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Caregiver's Storyboard, Emotion School, Life Mastery Skills, Mindfulness, Pioneers of Peace, Resilience, The Optimism Corner, The Power to Do, Wellness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Caregiver, Caregiver Burnout, Caregiver Manifesto, Caregiver Support, Caregiver's Storyboard, Caregiving, Compassion, Courage, Dementia, health, Mental health, Role reversal, Senior Health

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A Caregiver’s Manifesto

 1.  From here forward I will identify “Caregiving” as a clearly defined new role, and not as role reversal or any other negative associations I may have made with it in the past.

 2.    Caregiving is only one of the many roles I serve. I do not forget about my other roles such as: spouse, parent, friend, and employee.

3.    I recognize that Caregiving is usually not convenient and therefore creates many conflicting emotions, ALL OF WHICH ARE NORMAL.

 4.    I clear my mind from all preconceived thoughts about Caregiving and accept each day for what it brings. This not only protects me from disappointment and discouragement, but opens me up to receive miracles.

 5.    I radically accept the physical and mental limitations of the person I am caring for. This allows me to direct much needed energy into productive thought and activity, rather then allowing my precious energy to be lost in a fantasy of how things “should be.”

 6.    I understand that to care for others I must first care for myself. It is a requirement for the physical, emotional, and spiritual energy needed to fulfill the role.

 7.    I understand that I alone am responsible for making time to take care of my needs.  If I wait for the benevolence of others, I risk not getting my needs met, as well as feeling negative emotions such as hurt and resentment.

 8.    I accept help when it is offered even if my loved one opposes such help or I believe I can do it better.

 9.    Courage and Compassion are the attributes I am building.

 10.  I understand that pre-existing problems do not go away and if I need emotional help I obtain it.

 11.  I proactively look for tender mercies and miracles and capture them in writing to keep me balanced and reminded that I am not a victim.

 12.  I do not feel guilty when on vacation, spending time with friends, pursuing hobbies, or meeting my financial needs through working.

 13.  While I do what I can to ease my loved one’s burden, I know we are all responsible for our own happiness.

 14.  I respect my loved one’s ability to make their own choices whenever possible and make sure that I do not overstep by bounds when making decisions.

 15.  If my loved one is incapable of making choices, I base decisions on past conversations and what I believe they would want. In the absence of any such knowledge, I make decisions based on what I believe to be right along with the advice of other family members and professionals. When there is disagreement, the primary caregiver makes the decision.

 16.  I know my loved one is a multi-dimensional person with vast life experience, wisdom, interests, and strengths and weaknesses… just like me.

 17.  I am sensitive to my loved one’s need for privacy and do my best to preserve their dignity.

 18.  I do not blame my loved one for my feelings of loss and sadness. I own, validate, and take responsibility for my own emotions. I do not stuff my feelings, nor do I let them overpower me.

  19.  It’s okay to laugh.

 20.  I make mistakes and that’s okay.

A Caregiver’s Manifesto pdf

 This document is copyrighted. You have my permission to copy the pdf and share it with others for non-commercial purposes.

 

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Related articles
  • Caregiver’s Story Board: A New Facebook Page (barbarascovillelcsw.com)
  • True Confessions of a Former Caregiver…and a darn good cookie recipe (barbarascovillelcsw.com)

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Mindfulness

17 Sunday Feb 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Life Mastery Skills, Mindfulness, Resilience, Wellness

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Buddhism, health, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mental health, Mindfulness, Seung Sahn, Stress management

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A couple of weeks ago I  wrote:

Managing stress is as much a personal responsibility as not smoking, wearing a seat belt, and not using drugs. Nobody is going to do it for us. Ignoring or enduring stress can lead to such unhappy consequences as: heart disease, diabetes, obesity, chronic headaches, sleep problems, depression and anxiety, irritable bowl syndrome, cancer, and premature aging. These problems creep up over time and can catch us off guard while we are painfully trying to “Do Our Best.”  From: 7 Tips for Managing Stress 2/2/2013

I listed several ways to manage stress which included: getting enough sleep, exercising, talking with friends, avoiding looking at things with a microscope, taking a mental vacation, journaling, and the practice of mindfulness.  There are many other methods for living a more peaceful life and I would love it if this blog could become a community of readers who share their tips. This week I am going to focus on the practice of mindfulness.

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Ten years ago mindfulness was seldom mentioned. In fact, it was a concept that was just beginning to take form in the therapeutic community as a mental practice with  potential related to stress reduction. Around that time I was working at a mental health agency that was beginning to implement a new treatment model whose foundation was based in mindfulness practice. Along with a colleague I was asked to master the treatment model, lead a group therapy session with clients, and educate our staff so that their clients could benefit from this new form of therapy.

All I knew about mindfulness was that is was a form of meditation finding it’s roots in Buddhism, and though it was practiced all over the world, was primarily an Eastern practice. I was honored to be asked, scared about the responsibility, but THRILLED at the thought of having such a cool job that I was actually going to get paid to learn how to meditate.

It has been twelve years since that time and I have a profound respect for mindfulness practice. I have learned a lot but still consider myself an”advanced beginner.” I know this will be not only a life-long pursuit of learning, but “being.”

Jon Kabat-Zinn

Jon Kabat-Zinn

In the late 1970’s Jon Kabat-Zinn was developing his own mindfulness practice under the Korean Zen master Seung Sahn. The following is an excerpt from mindful.org The Man Who Prescribes the Medicine of the Moment

On a more intimate note, he recalls interactions with his teacher, the late Seung Sahn (known to his students as Soen Sa Nim), with obvious admiration and a discernible sense of the teacher’s presence… “I said to him,” he recalls, “‘Soen Sa Nim, I’m here to learn how to practice from you. I’m not interested in being a teacher; I want to be the student.’ And he said ‘If you are my student, then this is how you will learn to be a student, as you teach.’ And I said, ‘But I don’t know anything. I don’t know what to do. I wouldn’t know what to talk about.’ And he said, ‘Aawwwwww,’ as if he really deeply understood what my issue was, ‘no problem, you only talk about area you understand. Don’t talk about area you don’t understand.’”

Singing Bowls

Singing Bowls

Let me share with you some of what I understand about this sacred practice…

Mindfulness begins with welcoming yourself in this present moment.

Some people avoid mindfulness because they are too shy to meet themselves, fearing who they really are. This is what comes from listening to everyone’s voices but their own. We have nothing to fear and everything to gain by investing time in our own minds. It is the only place we can meet God and or our higher selves, and see the present moment for what it is without judgment. It is the only place we can make wise choices.

Mindfulness practice is not about Nirvana. Practice is about strengthening the mind, just as going to the gym is about strengthening the body.

Mindfulness is state of being. It’s about being in the moment. There is a difference between practicing mindfulness and mindfulness.

Mindfulness is about watching your mind, your breathing, or whatever you are focusing on from an observer’s view; an observer with wisdom and compassion.

Mindfulness is about describing what you become aware of one-mindfully and non- judgmentally.

Mindfulness can be practiced sitting, standing, walking, eating, running, singing, playing the piano, cleaning, building…there is no one way…the possibilities are limitless

The practice of mindfulness is the practice of staying in the here and now. Marsha Linehan has said, “Our minds are like untrained puppies. We tell it to sit and stay…and it will for a moment and then run off. We must gently call it back.” This is the nature of our minds. This is what we are disciplining through practice.

Through the practice of mindfulness, we become our master.

A fruit of mindfulness is acceptance. Non acceptance is a source of great unhappiness. Therefore mindfulness brings peace.

Formal mindfulness practice involves designating a period of time on a regular basis to practice. Informal practice involves randomly checking in to the here and now, and opening your awareness to what is present. Both are useful.

Research linking the health benefits to mindfulness were based on formal practice.

As little as 10 minutes a day has shown to be beneficial in as short of a time as two weeks. Surprisingly this 10 minute period can be broken up into two 5 minute periods.

A Google search on mindfulness practice yields 10,200,00 results.

When I have been able to maintain a formal practice, I feel balanced, more in control of my emotions, less reactive, happier, and more compassionate towards others. It sounds strange, but I believe my body responds in a unique way.  I feel like my body, mind, and soul are cooperating for my optimal well-being.

I re-posted an article written in December called, “Get Me Off of This Merry-go-Round.” If you missed it, take a look. Below is a Ted Talk on mindfulness for your viewing. Its well worth the 10 minutes it takes.

At least once a month we will be exploring the topic of mindfulness and it is my hope that you will begin your own practice. 10 minutes a day is all it takes to both open and manage your world.

Shine on 🙂

Barbara

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Weekly Wellness Check-in

28 Monday Jan 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Life Mastery Skills, Resilience, Wellness

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Exercise, health, Mental health, Quality of life

dragonfly_green

Indicator #3

 I exercise regularly

aerobic-exercise

“Weekly Wellness Check-in” is an ongoing weekly post appearing on Mondays, in which I  present one indicator from a checklist of positive mental health attributes. Take a look at the indicator and think about how it applies to you, keeping in mind it is an important factor of well-being. We all excel at some things, and need to work on others. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10; One, meaning I am a failure at this, and ten, meaning I have no room for improvement. Nobody may record a 1 or a 10 because there are no failures, and nobody is perfect.  If you are happy with where you placed yourself, consider the indicator a strength.  If you aren’t, think about a “realistic” place you would like to get to and how you might carry it out. My hope is that you will give it some gentle thought. I’d love to hear your tips on how to make each a strength in the comment section.

Previous weeks…

Indicator #1  I get a good night’s sleep so I feel healthy and alert

Indicator #2  I eat healthy foods to promote health and well being

Wellness

Wellness

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Weekly Wellness Check-in: Indicator #2

21 Monday Jan 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Resilience, Wellness

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, health, Mental health, Monday, Quality of life, well being, wellness, Wellness Check

dragonfly_green

Indicator #2

I eat healthy foods to promote health and well being

healthy-food-and-nutrition

“Weekly Wellness Check-in” is an ongoing weekly post appearing on Mondays, in which I  present one indicator from a checklist of positive mental health attributes. Take a look at the indicator and think about how it applies to you, keeping in mind it is an important factor of well-being. We all excel at some things, and need to work on others. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10; One, meaning I am a failure at this, and ten, meaning I have no room for improvement. Nobody may record a 1 or a 10 because there are no failures, and nobody is perfect.  If you are happy with where you placed yourself, consider the indicator a strength.  If you aren’t, think about a “realistic” place you would like to get to and how you might carry it out. My hope is that you will give it some gentle thought. I’d love to hear your tips on how to make each a strength in the comment section.

From last week…

Indicator #1  I get a good night’s sleep so I feel healthy and alert

Wellness

Wellness

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Deep Purple Smoothie

13 Sunday Jan 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Recipes, Wellness

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

fresh fruits and vegetables, health, Smoothie

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The connection between food and well-being has always been fascinating to me. Growing up in the 70’s placed me at the dawn of a health food awakening in the United States. Those of us who ate granola, yogurt, and fresh fruits and vegetables were in the minority compared to those who saw industrialized products as revolutionary, mainly because  of their convenience. There was something “cool” about eating the whole food, rather than the canned varieties that were present on most nightly dinner tables. In many ways it was a cultural preference, originating from health roots but having very little to do with any health benefits. My husband remembers me sharing fresh zucchini strips, cheese, and whole wheat crackers with him soon after we met. It made a real impression on him because he had never had anything like that before. Sad huh…well that was the 70’s

In the past couple of years information about the importance of whole foods has exploded, and we are in the midst of a “real food” revolution” in which we have scientific evidence proving the value of paying attention to what we eat. We now know that to be well balanced physically and emotionally, we must feed our bodies the nutrients they need to thrive; and there are serious consequences if we don’t. Obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and cancer can often trace their origins to poor diet and sedentary lifestyles, and to some degree can be cured, or at least managed by the same.

So why is it so hard to choose nutrient dense over nutrient void? There are multiple ways our brains are hardwired to survive, and they trick our thinking. For example: More is better than less, and sweet and salty are the flavors that provide what we need.  I know, I know; I need chocolate like I need water, but that’s another story for another time.  As with other survival instincts, what served us in primitive times hurts us in modern times. Fortunately, over the ages our brains have developed the ability to reason; we need to use it, or lose it.

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“You are What You Eat” is true. You can either eat foods that balance your chemistry, create an inhospitable environment for disease, improve mental acuity and overall well-being, or you can soothe yourself with fatty, sweet, and salty delicacies that will make you feel good in the moment, but in the long run, if overdone, cause you harm. Because I am on a crusade to banish black and white thinking, enjoying decadent food on occasion is not a bad thing, and if consumed as the exception rather than the rule, can greatly improve quality of life.  My suggestion is to find healthy foods that are elegant and flavorful; and that is how you can have your cake and eat it too 😀

What follows is my recipe for a smoothie that contains your entire daily fruit and vegetable requirement. Try it. You won’t believe how something so good, can be so good.

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Deep Purple Smoothie

1 Cup Vanilla Soy Milk

2 Cups Fresh Baby Spinach

1 Peeled Cutie Mandarin Orange

3/4 Cup Blueberries or Pitted Cherries (frozen are great)

Small Handful (1/3 cup?) of Baby carrots

1 Tsp. Ground Cinnamon

1 Tsp. Honey

In a blender, combine ingredients in the order listed and blend until smooth.

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Bon Appetit!

For some impressive facts about the power of food, take ten minutes and watch the Ted Talk below. it really is worth watching

Here is a link to an article that I found both empowering and motivating

The Way of the Healthy Person

http://experiencelife.com/article/the-way-of-the-healthy-person/

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