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Barbara Scoville, LCSW

~ Pioneers of Peace™

Barbara Scoville, LCSW

Tag Archives: Mental health

A Caregiver’s Manifesto

19 Saturday Oct 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Caregiver's Storyboard, Emotion School, Life Mastery Skills, Mindfulness, Pioneers of Peace, Resilience, The Optimism Corner, The Power to Do, Wellness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Caregiver, Caregiver Burnout, Caregiver Manifesto, Caregiver Support, Caregiver's Storyboard, Caregiving, Compassion, Courage, Dementia, health, Mental health, Role reversal, Senior Health

P1010143

A Caregiver’s Manifesto

 1.  From here forward I will identify “Caregiving” as a clearly defined new role, and not as role reversal or any other negative associations I may have made with it in the past.

 2.    Caregiving is only one of the many roles I serve. I do not forget about my other roles such as: spouse, parent, friend, and employee.

3.    I recognize that Caregiving is usually not convenient and therefore creates many conflicting emotions, ALL OF WHICH ARE NORMAL.

 4.    I clear my mind from all preconceived thoughts about Caregiving and accept each day for what it brings. This not only protects me from disappointment and discouragement, but opens me up to receive miracles.

 5.    I radically accept the physical and mental limitations of the person I am caring for. This allows me to direct much needed energy into productive thought and activity, rather then allowing my precious energy to be lost in a fantasy of how things “should be.”

 6.    I understand that to care for others I must first care for myself. It is a requirement for the physical, emotional, and spiritual energy needed to fulfill the role.

 7.    I understand that I alone am responsible for making time to take care of my needs.  If I wait for the benevolence of others, I risk not getting my needs met, as well as feeling negative emotions such as hurt and resentment.

 8.    I accept help when it is offered even if my loved one opposes such help or I believe I can do it better.

 9.    Courage and Compassion are the attributes I am building.

 10.  I understand that pre-existing problems do not go away and if I need emotional help I obtain it.

 11.  I proactively look for tender mercies and miracles and capture them in writing to keep me balanced and reminded that I am not a victim.

 12.  I do not feel guilty when on vacation, spending time with friends, pursuing hobbies, or meeting my financial needs through working.

 13.  While I do what I can to ease my loved one’s burden, I know we are all responsible for our own happiness.

 14.  I respect my loved one’s ability to make their own choices whenever possible and make sure that I do not overstep by bounds when making decisions.

 15.  If my loved one is incapable of making choices, I base decisions on past conversations and what I believe they would want. In the absence of any such knowledge, I make decisions based on what I believe to be right along with the advice of other family members and professionals. When there is disagreement, the primary caregiver makes the decision.

 16.  I know my loved one is a multi-dimensional person with vast life experience, wisdom, interests, and strengths and weaknesses… just like me.

 17.  I am sensitive to my loved one’s need for privacy and do my best to preserve their dignity.

 18.  I do not blame my loved one for my feelings of loss and sadness. I own, validate, and take responsibility for my own emotions. I do not stuff my feelings, nor do I let them overpower me.

  19.  It’s okay to laugh.

 20.  I make mistakes and that’s okay.

A Caregiver’s Manifesto pdf

 This document is copyrighted. You have my permission to copy the pdf and share it with others for non-commercial purposes.

 

Image

 

 

Related articles
  • Caregiver’s Story Board: A New Facebook Page (barbarascovillelcsw.com)
  • True Confessions of a Former Caregiver…and a darn good cookie recipe (barbarascovillelcsw.com)

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Weekly Wellness Check-in Finale

01 Monday Jul 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Life Mastery Skills, Resilience, Wellness

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Charity, Happiness, Mental health, positive mental health, Resilience, Service, st vincent de paul, Weekly Wellness-Check

dragonfly_green

Tales from St. Vincent de Paul Soup Kitchen As Told by Students of Middlesex Community College http://www.mxcc.commnet.edu/images/customer-files/schedules/SoupStories-v20-Lo.pdf

Tales from St. Vincent de Paul Soup Kitchen As Told by Students of Middlesex Community College
http://www.mxcc.commnet.edu/images/customer-files/schedules/SoupStories-v20-Lo.pdf

Indicator #25

I make time to serve others. (Be sure to read the end of this post)

“Weekly Wellness Check-in” is an ongoing weekly post appearing on Mondays, in which I  present one indicator from a checklist of positive mental health attributes. Take a look at the indicator and think about how it applies to you, keeping in mind it is an important factor of well-being. We all excel at some things, and need to work on others. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10; One, meaning I am a failure at this, and ten, meaning I have no room for improvement. Nobody may record a 1 or a 10 because there are no failures, and nobody is perfect.  If you are happy with where you placed yourself, consider the indicator a strength.  If you aren’t, think about a “realistic” place you would like to be, and how you might carry out getting there. My hope is that you will give it some gentle thought. I’d love to hear your tips on how to make each a strength in the comment section.

Previous weeks…

Indicator #1  I get a good night’s sleep so I feel healthy and alert

Indicator #2  I eat healthy foods to promote health and well being

Indicator #3  I exercise regularly

Indicator #4  I avoid mood altering substances (unless taken as prescribed).

Indicator #5  I make time each week to engage in activities that give me pleasure

Indicator #6  I have friends and family that I can talk to whenever I need a sense of connectedness

Indicator #7  I live in a home that feels safe and nurturing

Indicator #8  I actively seek solutions for the complaints I have regarding my life, work, and school
Indicator #9  I know how to forgive myself and others who have hurt me in the past

Indicator #10  I let go of guilt for my past mistakes

Indicator #11  I have enough money, time, friends, space, love, fun, and affection

Indicator #12  I take action based out of love rather than fear

Indicator #13  I am part of a community that gives me a sense of purpose

Indicator #14  I live a life based on choice and meaning

Indicator #15  I am able to ask others for what I need

Indicator# 16  I am able to say no when I don’t want to do something

Indicator #17  I am effectively able to express my feelings and stand up for what I believe in

Indicator #18  I am able to identify what emotion I am feeling at any given time

Indicator #19  I am able to tolerate negative emotion

Indictor #20  I have good problem solving skills

Indicator #21  I am able to set and achieve goals

Indicator #22  In the long run problems make me stronger.

Indicator #23  I have good stress management skills

Indicator #24 I am able to make and keep friends

Wellness

Wellness

This marks the end of Weekly Wellness-Check-in. My hope is that this series has been a reminder of what contributes to wellness and a satisfying life. While all of the indicators are important, the first 4 are technically the most important in the order listed. I believe the next 2 most important are #12 and #25. Living a life based on love rather than fear and serving others, is a magical combination creating a synergy for a happy life.

I highly recommend clicking on the link in the caption under “Soup Stories,” where you will find an inspiring collection of stories of service and humanity. it’s good for the soul.

Stay tuned to see what I have in store for next week.

Take care and see you then. Cheers 🙂

Barbara (The Blog Whisperer)

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Victim Mentality in Children: Nip it in the Bud

17 Monday Jun 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Life Mastery Skills, Resilience

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

blaming, kryptonite, Mental health, Parent Space, parenting, Super powers, victim mentality, Victim mentality in children

images

Victim Mentality in Children: Nip it in the Bud

Help Your Kids Find Their Super Powers

Help Your Kids Find Their Super Powers

Just published!!! This the article I wrote for Parent Space (a great parenting blog). Click on the link, read it and let me know what you think 🙂

Shine on 🙂

Barbara

P.S. I just saw some typos…again welcome to me being vulnerable…and I’m good with it 🙂

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Weekly Wellness Check-in

17 Monday Jun 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Life Mastery Skills, Resilience, Wellness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Mental health, positive mental health, Resilience, Stress ball, Stress management, stress management skills, Weekly Wellness Check-in, wellness

dragonfly_green

1347025884_587stress-management-2

Indicator #23

I have good stress management skills

“Weekly Wellness Check-in” is an ongoing weekly post appearing on Mondays, in which I  present one indicator from a checklist of positive mental health attributes. Take a look at the indicator and think about how it applies to you, keeping in mind it is an important factor of well-being. We all excel at some things, and need to work on others. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10; One, meaning I am a failure at this, and ten, meaning I have no room for improvement. Nobody may record a 1 or a 10 because there are no failures, and nobody is perfect.  If you are happy with where you placed yourself, consider the indicator a strength.  If you aren’t, think about a “realistic” place you would like to be, and how you might carry out getting there. My hope is that you will give it some gentle thought. I’d love to hear your tips on how to make each a strength in the comment section.

Previous weeks…

Indicator #1  I get a good night’s sleep so I feel healthy and alert

Indicator #2  I eat healthy foods to promote health and well being

Indicator #3  I exercise regularly

Indicator #4  I avoid mood altering substances (unless taken as prescribed).

Indicator #5  I make time each week to engage in activities that give me pleasure

Indicator #6  I have friends and family that I can talk to whenever I need a sense of connectedness

Indicator #7  I live in a home that feels safe and nurturing

Indicator #8  I actively seek solutions for the complaints I have regarding my life, work, and school
Indicator #9  I know how to forgive myself and others who have hurt me in the past

Indicator #10  I let go of guilt for my past mistakes

Indicator #11  I have enough money, time, friends, space, love, fun, and affection

Indicator #12  I take action based out of love rather than fear

Indicator #13  I am part of a community that gives me a sense of purpose

Indicator #14  I live a life based on choice and meaning

Indicator #15  I am able to ask others for what I need

Indicator# 16  I am able to say no when I don’t want to do something

Indicator #17  I am effectively able to express my feelings and stand up for what I believe in

Indicator #18  I am able to identify what emotion I am feeling at any given time

Indicator #19  I am able to tolerate negative emotion

Indictor #20  I have good problem solving skills

Indicator #21  I am able to set and achieve goals

Indicator #22  In the long run problems make me stronger.

Wellness

Wellness

 

 

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Weekly Wellness Check-in

10 Monday Jun 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Life Mastery Skills, Pioneers of Peace, Resilience, Wellness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Mental health, Nelson Mandela, positive mental health, Quality of life, Resilience, Weekly Wellness Check-in, wellness

dragonfly_green

Nelson Mandela

Nelson Mandela

Indicator #22

In the long run problems make me stronger.

“Weekly Wellness Check-in” is an ongoing weekly post appearing on Mondays, in which I  present one indicator from a checklist of positive mental health attributes. Take a look at the indicator and think about how it applies to you, keeping in mind it is an important factor of well-being. We all excel at some things, and need to work on others. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10; One, meaning I am a failure at this, and ten, meaning I have no room for improvement. Nobody may record a 1 or a 10 because there are no failures, and nobody is perfect.  If you are happy with where you placed yourself, consider the indicator a strength.  If you aren’t, think about a “realistic” place you would like to be, and how you might carry out getting there. My hope is that you will give it some gentle thought. I’d love to hear your tips on how to make each a strength in the comment section.

Previous weeks…

Indicator #1  I get a good night’s sleep so I feel healthy and alert

Indicator #2  I eat healthy foods to promote health and well being

Indicator #3  I exercise regularly

Indicator #4  I avoid mood altering substances (unless taken as prescribed).

Indicator #5  I make time each week to engage in activities that give me pleasure

Indicator #6  I have friends and family that I can talk to whenever I need a sense of connectedness

Indicator #7  I live in a home that feels safe and nurturing

Indicator #8  I actively seek solutions for the complaints I have regarding my life, work, and school
Indicator #9  I know how to forgive myself and others who have hurt me in the past

Indicator #10  I let go of guilt for my past mistakes

Indicator #11  I have enough money, time, friends, space, love, fun, and affection

Indicator #12  I take action based out of love rather than fear

Indicator #13  I am part of a community that gives me a sense of purpose

Indicator #14  I live a life based on choice and meaning

Indicator #15  I am able to ask others for what I need

Indicator# 16  I am able to say no when I don’t want to do something

Indicator #17  I am effectively able to express my feelings and stand up for what I believe in

Indicator #18  I am able to identify what emotion I am feeling at any given time

Indicator #19  I am able to tolerate negative emotion

Indictor #20  I have good problem solving skills

Indicator #21  I am able to set and achieve goals

Wellness

Wellness

 

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Weekly Wellness Check-in

03 Monday Jun 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Life Mastery Skills, Resilience, Uncategorized, Wellness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Goals, Mental health, positive mental health, Quality of life, Weekly Wellness Check-in

dragonfly_green

goal-setting-achieving

Indicator #21  I am able to set and achieve goals

“Weekly Wellness Check-in” is an ongoing weekly post appearing on Mondays, in which I  present one indicator from a checklist of positive mental health attributes. Take a look at the indicator and think about how it applies to you, keeping in mind it is an important factor of well-being. We all excel at some things, and need to work on others. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10; One, meaning I am a failure at this, and ten, meaning I have no room for improvement. Nobody may record a 1 or a 10 because there are no failures, and nobody is perfect.  If you are happy with where you placed yourself, consider the indicator a strength.  If you aren’t, think about a “realistic” place you would like to be, and how you might carry out getting there. My hope is that you will give it some gentle thought. I’d love to hear your tips on how to make each a strength in the comment section.

Previous weeks…

Indicator #1  I get a good night’s sleep so I feel healthy and alert

Indicator #2  I eat healthy foods to promote health and well being

Indicator #3  I exercise regularly

Indicator #4  I avoid mood altering substances (unless taken as prescribed).

Indicator #5  I make time each week to engage in activities that give me pleasure

Indicator #6  I have friends and family that I can talk to whenever I need a sense of connectedness

Indicator #7  I live in a home that feels safe and nurturing

Indicator #8  I actively seek solutions for the complaints I have regarding my life, work, and school
Indicator #9  I know how to forgive myself and others who have hurt me in the past

Indicator #10  I let go of guilt for my past mistakes

Indicator #11  I have enough money, time, friends, space, love, fun, and affection

Indicator #12  I take action based out of love rather than fear

Indicator #13  I am part of a community that gives me a sense of purpose

Indicator #14  I live a life based on choice and meaning

Indicator #15  I am able to ask others for what I need

Indicator# 16  I am able to say no when I don’t want to do something

Indicator #17  I am effectively able to express my feelings and stand up for what I believe in

Indicator #18  I am able to identify what emotion I am feeling at any given time

Indicator #19  I am able to tolerate negative emotion

Indictor #20  I have good problem solving skills

Wellness

Wellness

 

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Weekly Wellness Check-in

27 Monday May 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Life Mastery Skills, Resilience, Wellness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Mental health, positive mental health, problem solving skills, Quality of life, sense of purpose, Weekly Wellness Check-in

dragonfly_green

deep-thinker

Indicator #20  I have good problem solving skills

“Weekly Wellness Check-in” is an ongoing weekly post appearing on Mondays, in which I  present one indicator from a checklist of positive mental health attributes. Take a look at the indicator and think about how it applies to you, keeping in mind it is an important factor of well-being. We all excel at some things, and need to work on others. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10; One, meaning I am a failure at this, and ten, meaning I have no room for improvement. Nobody may record a 1 or a 10 because there are no failures, and nobody is perfect.  If you are happy with where you placed yourself, consider the indicator a strength.  If you aren’t, think about a “realistic” place you would like to get to and how you might carry it out. My hope is that you will give it some gentle thought. I’d love to hear your tips on how to make each a strength in the comment section.

Previous weeks…

Indicator #1  I get a good night’s sleep so I feel healthy and alert

Indicator #2  I eat healthy foods to promote health and well being

Indicator #3  I exercise regularly

Indicator #4  I avoid mood altering substances (unless taken as prescribed).

Indicator #5  I make time each week to engage in activities that give me pleasure

Indicator #6  I have friends and family that I can talk to whenever I need a sense of connectedness

Indicator #7  I live in a home that feels safe and nurturing

Indicator #8  I actively seek solutions for the complaints I have regarding my life, work, and school
Indicator #9  I know how to forgive myself and others who have hurt me in the past

Indicator #10  I let go of guilt for my past mistakes

Indicator #11  I have enough money, time, friends, space, love, fun, and affection

Indicator #12  I take action based out of love rather than fear

Indicator #13  I am part of a community that gives me a sense of purpose

Indicator #14  I live a life based on choice and meaning

Indicator #15  I am able to ask others for what I need

Indicator# 16  I am able to say no when I don’t want to do something

Indicator #17  I am effectively able to express my feelings and stand up for what I believe in

Indicator #18  I am able to identify what emotion I am feeling at any given time

Indicator #19  I am able to tolerate negative emotion

Wellness

Wellness

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Weekly Wellness Check-in

20 Monday May 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Life Mastery Skills, Resilience, Wellness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Emotion, Frustration Tolerance, Mental health, Weekly Wellness Check-in

dragonfly_green

www.positivelypresent.typepad.com

http://www.positivelypresent.typepad.com

Indicator #19  I am able to tolerate negative emotion

“Weekly Wellness Check-in” is an ongoing weekly post appearing on Mondays, in which I  present one indicator from a checklist of positive mental health attributes. Take a look at the indicator and think about how it applies to you, keeping in mind it is an important factor of well-being. We all excel at some things, and need to work on others. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10; One, meaning I am a failure at this, and ten, meaning I have no room for improvement. Nobody may record a 1 or a 10 because there are no failures, and nobody is perfect.  If you are happy with where you placed yourself, consider the indicator a strength.  If you aren’t, think about a “realistic” place you would like to get to and how you might carry it out. My hope is that you will give it some gentle thought. I’d love to hear your tips on how to make each a strength in the comment section.

Previous weeks…

Indicator #1  I get a good night’s sleep so I feel healthy and alert

Indicator #2  I eat healthy foods to promote health and well being

Indicator #3  I exercise regularly

Indicator #4  I avoid mood altering substances (unless taken as prescribed).

Indicator #5  I make time each week to engage in activities that give me pleasure

Indicator #6  I have friends and family that I can talk to whenever I need a sense of connectedness

Indicator #7  I live in a home that feels safe and nurturing

Indicator #8  I actively seek solutions for the complaints I have regarding my life, work, and school
Indicator #9  I know how to forgive myself and others who have hurt me in the past

Indicator #10  I let go of guilt for my past mistakes

Indicator #11  I have enough money, time, friends, space, love, fun, and affection

Indicator #12  I take action based out of love rather than fear

Indicator #13  I am part of a community that gives me a sense of purpose

Indicator #14  I live a life based on choice and meaning

Indicator #15  I am able to ask others for what I need

Indicator# 16  I am able to say no when I don’t want to do something

Indicator #17  I am effectively able to express my feelings and stand up for what I believe in

Indicator #18  I am able to identify what emotion I am feeling at any given time

Wellness

Wellness

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Weekly Wellness Check-in

13 Monday May 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Emotion School, Life Mastery Skills, Wellness

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Emotions, Mental health, positive mental health, Weekly Wellness Check-in

dragonfly_green

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Manga_emotions-EN.jpg

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Manga_emotions-EN.jpg

Indicator #18

I am able to identify what emotion I am feeling at any given time

“Weekly Wellness Check-in” is an ongoing weekly post appearing on Mondays, in which I  present one indicator from a checklist of positive mental health attributes. Take a look at the indicator and think about how it applies to you, keeping in mind it is an important factor of well-being. We all excel at some things, and need to work on others. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10; One, meaning I am a failure at this, and ten, meaning I have no room for improvement. Nobody may record a 1 or a 10 because there are no failures, and nobody is perfect.  If you are happy with where you placed yourself, consider the indicator a strength.  If you aren’t, think about a “realistic” place you would like to get to and how you might carry it out. My hope is that you will give it some gentle thought. I’d love to hear your tips on how to make each a strength in the comment section.

Previous weeks…

Indicator #1  I get a good night’s sleep so I feel healthy and alert

Indicator #2  I eat healthy foods to promote health and well being

Indicator #3  I exercise regularly

Indicator #4  I avoid mood altering substances (unless taken as prescribed).

Indicator #5  I make time each week to engage in activities that give me pleasure

Indicator #6  I have friends and family that I can talk to whenever I need a sense of connectedness

Indicator #7  I live in a home that feels safe and nurturing

Indicator #8  I actively seek solutions for the complaints I have regarding my life, work, and school
Indicator #9  I know how to forgive myself and others who have hurt me in the past

Indicator #10  I let go of guilt for my past mistakes

Indicator #11  I have enough money, time, friends, space, love, fun, and affection

Indicator #12  I take action based out of love rather than fear

Indicator #13  I am part of a community that gives me a sense of purpose

Indicator #14  I live a life based on choice and meaning

Indicator #15  I am able to ask others for what I need

Indicator# 16  I am able to say no when I don’t want to do something

Indicator #17  I am effectively able to express my feelings and stand up for what I believe in

Wellness

Wellness

 

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Weekly Wellness Check-in #17

06 Monday May 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Resilience, Wellness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Mental health, Resilience, Weekly Wellness Check-in

dragonfly_green

TrustinHeart

Indicator #17

I am effectively able to express my feelings and stand up for what I believe in

“Weekly Wellness Check-in” is an ongoing weekly post appearing on Mondays, in which I  present one indicator from a checklist of positive mental health attributes. Take a look at the indicator and think about how it applies to you, keeping in mind it is an important factor of well-being. We all excel at some things, and need to work on others. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10; One, meaning I am a failure at this, and ten, meaning I have no room for improvement. Nobody may record a 1 or a 10 because there are no failures, and nobody is perfect.  If you are happy with where you placed yourself, consider the indicator a strength.  If you aren’t, think about a “realistic” place you would like to get to and how you might carry it out. My hope is that you will give it some gentle thought. I’d love to hear your tips on how to make each a strength in the comment section.

Previous weeks…

Indicator #1  I get a good night’s sleep so I feel healthy and alert

Indicator #2  I eat healthy foods to promote health and well being

Indicator #3  I exercise regularly

Indicator #4  I avoid mood altering substances (unless taken as prescribed).

Indicator #5  I make time each week to engage in activities that give me pleasure

Indicator #6  I have friends and family that I can talk to whenever I need a sense of connectedness

Indicator #7  I live in a home that feels safe and nurturing

Indicator #8  I actively seek solutions for the complaints I have regarding my life, work, and school
Indicator #9  I know how to forgive myself and others who have hurt me in the past

Indicator #10  I let go of guilt for my past mistakes

Indicator #11  I have enough money, time, friends, space, love, fun, and affection

Indicator #12  I take action based out of love rather than fear

Indicator #13  I am part of a community that gives me a sense of purpose

Indicator #14  I live a life based on choice and meaning

Indicator #15  I am able to ask others for what I need

Indicator# 16  I am able to say no when I don’t want to do something

Wellness

Wellness

 

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