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Barbara Scoville, LCSW

~ Pioneers of Peace™

Barbara Scoville, LCSW

Tag Archives: Pioneers of Peace

Ripples on the Ocean of Kindness

03 Sunday Jan 2021

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Uncategorized

≈ Comments Off on Ripples on the Ocean of Kindness

Tags

Charitable Giving, Pioneers of Peace

Photo by Emre Kuzu on Pexels.com

If you google the “Starfish Story”, multiple curated images will appear with the beloved story of the old man who came upon a boy throwing starfish back into the ocean. Confused, the old man asked the boy what he was doing. The boy explained the surf was up and the tide was going out. If he didn’t help the starfish, they would die. The old man said, “But son, there are miles and miles of beach and thousands of starfish. You can’t possibly make a difference.” After listening politely, the boy smiled, bent down and picked up another starfish throwing it into the water and said, “I made a difference to that one.” 

As a compassionate knitter, otherwise known as a charity knitter, I have often wondered if the hours of time and money I put into creating hats, mittens, blankets, and booties ever make a difference.

Just last week I was listening to a podcast on “Effective Altruism”. According to the Effective Altruism model, it would appear my time and money could be better spent. In fact, according to that model I should do research on what saves the most lives and currently, that is donating money for mosquito netting to prevent malaria. The model encourages us to donate money to organizations who make it their business to identify the most effective NGO’s and then to just write out a check knowing we have done our part; similar to making contributions to a church’s humanitarian aid fund. 

As a side note in the same podcast, they talked about the guilty pleasure of donating to organizations that are meaningful to us rather than the identified most effective, as if it could be likened to spending money on getting your nails done instead of buying groceries.

A couple of weeks ago I had one of those “I’ll never forget it experiences,” that cracked my heart open. As some of you know in late September I was diagnosed with a low-grade breast cancer that required surgery and subsequent radiation therapy…

One day as I was waiting for my radiation treatment, I saw 2 large white garbage bags filled with knit hats and a basket sitting on the counter overflowing with loomed knitted hats. In my mind I wondered, do people really use those hats. I remember one summer my knitting group made several baby hats and I actually had a hard time finding a hospital that would take them. When I finally found one willing to accept them, I was taken to a room filled with handmade donations. I was then asked to sign a paper saying it was okay if they donated the handknit items to other organizations if they couldn’t use them. I have also heard stories of people finding their donated handiwork at local thrift shops such as Deseret Industries or the Salvation Army. 

So, on a whim as I was walking out I asked the receptionist if they are able to use all of the hats that get donated to them. Frankly, I also wondered about the scratchy yarn that made up most of the hats. How comfortable could that be on a bald head? 

“Just out of curiosity,” I said, “Do people really take those hats? I saw those white bags full and wonder what you do with them all.” I explained that I’m part of a charity knitting group and we wonder if we are doing any good or if we are just filling hospital storage space.

Her reply stunned me.

“Oh yes” she said. “I was worried we wouldn’t get any hats this year due to Covid.” She went on to say, “You have to understand, every 15 minutes we are treating multiple people with radiation and that doesn’t even count everyone who is receiving Chemotherapy.”

And then this…

“You also need to understand we treat people across all incomes; from homeless people to billionaires.”

“Let me tell you a story,” she said.

“Last Christmas we were treating a woman who was homeless. One day after her daily treatment, she was getting ready to leave and she saw the basket of knitted hats. She asked if she could take one.  We said of course, and then she said, “Would you mind if I took a bunch of them? You see all of my friends are homeless too. I would love to give them all a hat for Christmas.”

The receptionist who was telling me the story didn’t have to say another word. We looked at each other in silence, both of us with tears in our eyes. 

We have no idea when we act on an impression of kindness where it will land. My compassionate knitting group meets once a month. We think we are knitting hats for cancer patients, or for elders in indigeneous communities, but once we make our offering it is a mystery as to who will receive it. Someone once shared with me a situation in which a hand-quilted baby blanket was donated to our local children’s hospital. Instead of it being placed in the closet with the other donated blankets, a staff member took it for herself. When I first heard that story, I was disappointed. But now I ask myself, “What is the rest of the story?” 

This year I hope to remember that giving is an act of unconditional love. It is a reminder that we are all connected, whether we know each other or not. I hope to let go of needing to know the end of the story because sometimes the end of the story is much grander than I could’ve ever imagined.

Happy New Year Everyone!

May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be safe from inner and outer harm. May you be happy. May you know you make a difference in this world with every act of kindness you offer.

Blessing,

Barbara

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To the Young Man Sitting Outside the Door

09 Monday Feb 2015

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Altruism, homeless, homeless youth, humanitarian service, making a difference, Pioneers of Peace

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

American Fork, Charity, Compassion, empathy, friends, Giada De Laurentiis, Gratitude, Happiness, Kindness, Pioneers of Peace, Resilience, Target

American Fork, Utah Target Employees are ROCK STARS!!!

American Fork, Utah Target Employees are ROCK STARS!!!

I was running late already, but when I turned left instead of right my fate was sealed. As I approached the library in a harried state, I saw a young man hanging out close to where I was going to park my car. Is this safe, I questioned.

No time to worry now; just park the car and get everything inside. Everyone will be arriving soon; we have booked the library for two hours. Will everybody show up? … and the big question, will we be able to assemble 200 love bundles in that amount of time?

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Everyone did show up. We folded the scarves in half length wise and laid them out across the conference table. It was kind of like making Giada De Laurentiis’s lasagna roll ups. First the scarf, then a layer of socks, next a layer of hand warmers, and on top of that a protein bar. Alongside the protein bar, lip balm, and then the piece de resistance, a paper crane containing the most important spice; an inspirational quote. Roll that all up nice and neat and tie it with a piece of raffia. Viola a “Love Bundle.”

Someone was singing “Rollin, rollin, rollin, rollin, rollin, rollin”, there were other songs from the Lion King, and comments like, “I am rocking these love bundles,” and “Make sure you blow a kiss into each one of these babies.” We talked about the TV show Blacklist, catching fireflies when we were kids and Moulin Rouge. Each team member disclosed their signature strengths and opportunities and at one point, someone said, “I feel really close to you guys right now.” It was hard to tell if the comment was playful or dare I say sarcastic, but personally… I felt like I had 6 new best friends.

Because of all the frivolity I don’t recall when I first noticed, but I saw that the boy who was standing by my parking place had moved inside. He was sitting on a chair that made it possible for him to see everything we were doing. Throughout the two and a half hours we were there, my eye would catch him, and I was reminded he was there.

What’s he doing? Something is not right. At times I couldn’t tell if he was sleeping or just slumped over playing on his phone. Is he homeless? Is he waiting for someone? Does he just like hanging out at the library?

And then I would be carried away in the friendly atmosphere of new found friends who on their own time, chose to come together to make a difference in the lives of homeless adolescents.

Someone once posed a question similar to this, “If a star appeared in the sky that held some great significance: would you see it?” I’ve thought a lot about that question over the past month and have wondered if I would.

About an hour and a half into assembling “Operation Love Bundles,” I walked out into the hall and approached the young man. I said, “Just hanging out at the library today?” He didn’t look up at me, but said in a flat voice, “Yeah.” I said, “You’ve been sitting here a long time.” Again, without looking up, he said “Yeah.”

I walked back into the assembly room wondering if I should do anything more.

To make a long story short, I didn’t. We finished the project and ended with so much oxytocin floating through the room, it was intoxicating. Thank you’s and promises of working together again on a charitable cause carried us out to our cars.

Out to our cars… As we were loading up 7 oversized Target bags containing 200 love bundles, I noticed the boy standing in the same place he was standing when I drove up. What is he doing I asked myself again. Should I do something? Should I give him a love bundle? Should I ask him if he is okay?

I drove away.

Today is February 9. We are dropping the bundles off at HYRC on the 13th. We are experiencing a record breaking heat wave in Salt Lake City. Our love bundles were created to let homeless youth know they are not forgotten and to keep them warm on cold nights. Participation on this project has been overwhelming. Many have walked, not just talked and for that, we at Pioneers of Peace are so grateful. We know there is a magical synergy that takes place between the giver and the receiver, and all are measurably edified…and that’s what Pioneers of Peace is all about.

But as I reflect back on “Assembly Day,” I can’t help but think I missed the star. If I could have a do-over, at the very least, I would call up my courage and try harder to engage the young man. Perhaps I would’ve asked him to help us. What is the irony in putting together 200 love bundles in the middle of a heat wave when there might have been 1 with us from start to finish, and we did nothing.

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” `Maya Angelou

To that young man, I say, “I am so sorry. I will do better next time.”

 

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We Need Your Help! POP “Project Love Bundles”

18 Sunday Jan 2015

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Altruism, Pioneers of Peace, Valentine's Day

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Charitable sewing, Charity, Compassion, empathy, Gratitude, Homeless youth, Homelessness, Hope, Humanitarian Programs, Kindness, Making a difference, Not Forgotten, Peace, Pioneers of Peace, Shelter, Valentine's Day

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POP “Project Love Bundles” is a charitable campaign to let homeless youth in Salt Lake City know they are not forgotten this Valentine’s Day.

Each bundle contains: a warm fleece scarf, hand warmers, a new pair of socks, protein bar, lip balm, and a paper crane with a handwritten quote.

Please help us by donating new 8″ X 60″ fleece scarves 

“Project Love Bundles” Scarf Tutorial

Each scarf is 8″ x 60″
The instructions that follow are for a 2 yd piece of fabric because it makes the best use of yardage. If you have a smaller piece, just make sure the scarf is 8″ x 60″

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1. After removing selvedge edge, cut a 2 yd piece of 60″ wide fleece into 9, 8″ strips.

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2. For fringe, cut 1″w x 3″h 8 times. (8 fringes)

IMG_42563. Fold fringe up to 3′ cut line and cut a SMALL slit on fold.

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4. With each piece of fringe: Fold up to slit and pull it through making a knot.

IMG_4255IMG_4252HELP!!! All of my sewing friends!! If there is a better way to describe these instructions please let me know.

Also if you would be willing to donate completed scarves we would love you forever. We need 200 scarves by Feb 4 so they can be assembled into bundles and donated by Feb 5. 

Drop off location will be announced soon. If you live outside of Salt Lake City, Utah, Donations can be sent to:

Barbara Scoville, LCSW

5635 South Waterbury Way Suite C-202

SLC, UT 84121


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Pioneers of Peace Help Homeless Youth Know They’re Not Forgotten

15 Thursday Jan 2015

Tags

Compassion, Help, Homelessness, Kindness, Pioneers of Peace, Resilience, Valentine's Day, VOA, VOAHYRC

lovebundles

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Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW | Filed under Altruism, Pioneers of Peace

≈ Leave a comment

Visions of Red Cups Danced in their Heads

28 Friday Nov 2014

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Altruism, The Pioneers of Peace Thanks"Giving" Cup Campaign

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

altruism, Compassion, Gratitude, Happiness, Humanitarian Programs, Pioneers of Peace, positive mental health, Quality of life, Resilience, Thanksgiving, World Food Programme, World Hunger

 

IMG_2577The children were all nestled snug in their beds…while visions of filled red cups danced in their heads

Last night, in many homes, children went to bed with a new understanding of what Thanksgiving means.

Either before or after their bounteous feasts, they spilled the change they had collected through the month of November out on tables and counted how many school meals they could give.

They knew every combination of 25 cents they could find would feed one child.

FullSizeRender

The excitement built as they saw the meals adding up. How empowered they felt when they realized that by their own efforts, they made a difference in not just one person’s life, but in many cases 50 plus lives.

Adult’s hearts swelled as they saw the seeds of altruism taking root in their children.

The feelings the kids were expressing became contagious, and before you knew it, adults were adding to the count by pulling out dollar bills and running out to their cars to find whatever change they could to keep the spirit of giving alive.

A small child beaming with smiles was overheard to say “We’ve got a billion meals…don’t even get me started.” The joy was spreading farther and farther and before the end of the night everyone got a glimpse of where true happiness comes from… GIVING.

As of this writing Pioneers of Peace™Thanks “Giving” Cup Campaign has made a difference by providing 3,276 school meals

red cup 1130 revised

There is a wonderful synergistic energy that is created between giver and receiver. Everyone is equally enlarged by the experience.

This has truly been a beautiful Thanksgiving, and the beginning of many more to come.

Check us out on our Facebook page. Pioneers of Peace™Thanks “Giving” Cup Campaign, and if you are so inclined to give to our cause, here is the link http://my.wfpusa.org/popthanksgivingcupcampaign

May you always find your cup half full 🙂

Barbara

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Pioneers of Peace Thanks “Giving” Cup Campaign

05 Sunday Oct 2014

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Pioneers of Peace, Resilience, The Pioneers of Peace Thanks"Giving" Cup Campaign, The Power to Do

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

altruism, Charity, Compassion, Gratitude, Humanitarian Programs, Kindness, Pioneers of Peace, The Pioneers of Peace Thanks"Giving" Cup Campaign, World Food Program USA, Zero Hunger Challenge

IMG_2433

Pioneers of Peace™ Thanks”Giving” Cup Campaign

Between Sept 1 and Thanksgiving Day, Pioneers of Peace™ teams up with World Food Program USA through our annual Thanks “Giving” Cup Campaign. We collect our spare change for the purpose of providing school meals to the world’s hungriest children. Just 25 cents feeds a hungry child in school for a day.

,

We Don’t

 … Ask you for money you don’t have

… Ask you to forgo your holiday gift giving

… Ask you to starve so that you can feel the pain

… Ask you to give up your family vacation

… Ask for an ongoing monthly donation

… Ask you to donate to an organization that doesn’t have a track record

… Ask you to give Pioneers of Peace™ your money

We DO ask

… That you find a cup worthy of holding precious coins that will pay for school

meals

… That over the course of the campaign you fill the cup with your loose change

… That you look under your cushions, empty the bottom of your purses, search through your junk drawers, pick up coins off the street, and send your children on a hunt for lost coins waiting to be transformed into nutritionally complete meals.

…That between Thanksgiving Day and Dec 1st you liberate the buying power of the change you collected by donating it to WFPUSA on the Pioneer of Peace Thanks”Giving”Cup Campaign link

We Hope

 …That you take this easy opportunity to make a difference in the lives of vulnerable children

…That your choice to help will have a ripple effect of goodness in the world

…That your children will have the seeds of gratitude and compassion planted in their hearts

…That you know you have

…That children who would otherwise be searching for food or working, can receive an education.

…That through all of our efforts, we will see the end of hunger in our lifetime

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The Pioneers of Peace Thanks”Giving” Cup Campaign Gets a New Logo

21 Sunday Sep 2014

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Pioneers of Peace

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

altruism, Charity, Compassion, Humanitarian Programs, Pioneers of Peace, The Pioneers of Peace Thanks"Giving" Cup Campaign, The School Feeding Program, WFPUSA, Zero Hunger Challenge

IMG_2433

I am very excited to unveil our new logo (created by the talented Mindy Young of “Dear Emmie”) for the Pioneers of Peace Thanks”Giving” Cup Campaign 🙂 🙂

What do you think?

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Softly, Kindly

17 Friday Jan 2014

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Caregiver's Storyboard, Life Mastery Skills, Pioneers of Peace, Resilience

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Compassion, empathy, Gentleness, Kindness, Peace, Pioneers of Peace, Softly, Vulnerability

Image

Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end. Scott Adams

Sunday night we had a double birthday party for my son and daughter-in-law. The house was packed with family and though it was a happy gathering, chaos abounded.

Amidst the large crowd, we had three dogs in attendance, one of which was our puppy, Mr. Bingley. Bingley was in heaven, chasing the children and being the center of attention.  Kids and puppies are a perfect combination.

However, several times during the evening, the little ones had to be reminded to be “soft” with our tiny 4-pound bundle of fur.  It was interesting to observe that when reminded, the kids knew exactly how to adjust their behavior:

  • Don’t shake; cradle close.
  • Don’t frighten; be gentle.
  • Stop yelling; talk softly.
  • Don’t hit; pet.

It wasn’t hard for them to change. They love Mr. Bingley and when they became aware that being rough might harm him, a transformation took place and little nurturers appeared. The chaos was replaced with a sweetness hard to describe.

Mr. Bingley

Mr. Bingley

In contrast, on a daily basis I hear stories of people harming others with their words and actions. Some of it is intentional, but often it is not.

It’s easy to forget that human beings, despite our size, age, or level of success, may at times have only the emotional strength of a 4-pound puppy.

Unfortunately we don’t have super powers to look inside a person’s heart. Sometimes it’s easy to see when others are hurting but all too often people are wearing masks so that they don’t appear vulnerable.

We would be wise to remind ourselves often to be “soft.”

I am not a golfer, but I have friends who are passionate about the sport. I used to think golfing was about how “hard” you hit the ball.

My friends explained that it’s not how “hard” you hit the ball, but the arc of your swing and where on the ball your club makes contact. They said that a fraction of an inch makes all the difference in how far and where your ball will land.

In other words, a tiny adjustment makes all the difference.

Using that same analogy, consider the power of a tiny adjustment to your words and deeds, and how it could ease a soul.

Small acts of kindness might include…

A genuine smile

A gesture like a “thumbs up”

A compliment

A text to say “I’m thinking of you”

A plate of cookies or loaf of bread

A pat on the back or touch on the arm

Listening

Sitting next to someone who is alone

All of these are little adjustments. They don’t require physical strength or great effort. It’s a matter of arc or intention, and where you hit the ball that makes all the difference. Softness is the strength that is required.

Such little effort can be transformative on a very large scale.

  • Don’t shake; cradle close.
  • Don’t frighten; be gentle.
  • Stop yelling; talk softly.
  • Don’t hit; pet.

How have you been touched by little kindnesses in your life? I’d love to hear your experiences.

That’s all for now my friends.

May you always find your cup half full 🙂

Love to all,

Barbara

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The Power of Words

17 Friday Jan 2014

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Caregiver's Storyboard, Life Mastery Skills, Mindfulness, Pioneers of Peace, Quotes, Resilience, Wellness

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Buddha, Charity, Compassion, empathy, Happiness, Kindness, Mindfulness, Peace, Pioneers of Peace, Resilience, The Power of Words

Image 6Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. ~Buddha

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Wisdom

12 Tuesday Nov 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Emotion School, Life Mastery Skills, Mindfulness, Pioneers of Peace, Quotes, Resilience, Wellness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Happiness, Kindness, Lao Tzu, Peace, Pioneers of Peace, Religion and Spirituality, Wisdom

IMG_0549

Keep a green bough in your heart, and a singing bird will come. ~Lao Tzu

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