• #42 (no title)

Barbara Scoville, LCSW

~ Pioneers of Peace™

Barbara Scoville, LCSW

Tag Archives: Self-esteem

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 25)

25 Tuesday Mar 2014

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Resilience, Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: A Game, Wellness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

authentic self, Game, Identity, Individuality, Michelangelo, Self awareness, Self discovery, Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way, Self-esteem

images“In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.”Michelangelo

For most of us the answer to the question, “Who am I?” is work in progress. There are times when we are certain who we are, what we like, and what we want; and other times when it seems we have no idea at all.

It has been said that identity isn’t just about what you have done, but what you would like to experience.

Playing “Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way” is a fun game designed to help you discover who you really are. You will be given a series of choices and asked which option resonates most with you. Some will seem easy . . . black and white, while others will require careful contemplation.

Play the game each week and over time watch how your identity takes form; like Michelangelo chipping away at a block of marble, only to reveal what he already knew was inside.

Included in the game is a polling box in which you can cast your vote and see how your answer compares with others.

Game Rules:

1. Think about each option and decide which one you identify with the most.

2. You may feel like you can identify with both, but choose the one you lean towards.

3. Feel free to think about the options in any way you like: literally, symbolically, metaphorically, preferentially, etc.

4. Claim your identity by voting in the polling box at the bottom of the page, and just for the fun of it see what others are saying.

5. Check in each week to answer the latest question that will reveal your identity.

6. Keep a written record of your responses and watch a description of yourself unfold.

Option: Play this game with your friend or partner. See how well you know each other and build your relationship by sharing aspects of your personality.

Ready to play?

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

This week’s question (Round 25)

Are you more TV or Radio?

1240447_10200648736848566_795156431_n

 

Share this:

  • Pinterest
  • Print
  • Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Email
  • LinkedIn
  • Facebook
  • Reddit

Like this:

Like Loading...

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 24)

15 Saturday Mar 2014

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Resilience, Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: A Game, Wellness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

authentic self, Barbara Scoville LCSW, Games, Identity, Michelangelo, Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way, self worth, Self-esteem

images“In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.”Michelangelo

For most of us the answer to the question, “Who am I?” is work in progress. There are times when we are certain who we are, what we like, and what we want; and other times when it seems we have no idea at all.

It has been said that identity isn’t just about what you have done, but what you would like to experience.

Playing “Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way” is a fun game designed to help you discover who you really are. You will be given a series of choices and asked which option resonates most with you.  Some will seem easy . . . black and white, while others will require careful contemplation.

Play the game each week and over time watch how your identity takes form; like Michelangelo chipping away at a block of marble, only to reveal what he already knew was inside.

Included in the game is a polling box in which you can cast your vote and see how your answer compares with others.

Game Rules:

1. Think about each option and decide which one you identify with the most.

2. You may feel like you can identify with both, but choose the one you lean towards.

3. Feel free to think about the options in any way you like: literally, symbolically, metaphorically, preferentially, etc.

4. Claim your identity by voting in the polling box at the bottom of the page, and just for the fun of it see what others are saying.

5. Check in each week to answer the latest question that will reveal your identity.

6. Keep a written record of your responses and watch a description of yourself unfold.

Option: Play this game with your friend or partner. See how well you know each other and build your relationship by sharing aspects of your personality.

Ready to play?

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

This week’s question (Round 24)

Are you more local or global?

1240447_10200648736848566_795156431_n

Share this:

  • Pinterest
  • Print
  • Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Email
  • LinkedIn
  • Facebook
  • Reddit

Like this:

Like Loading...

Self Compassion

07 Friday Mar 2014

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Emotion School, Life Mastery Skills, Mindfulness, Pioneers of Peace, Resilience, Wellness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Compassion, Kindness, Kristen Neff, Self Compassion, Self-esteem

I came across this talk today and am compelled to share it.

To all of my clients who follow this blog… this is homework 🙂 Please take the time to watch it. 

Share this:

  • Pinterest
  • Print
  • Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Email
  • LinkedIn
  • Facebook
  • Reddit

Like this:

Like Loading...

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 20)

23 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Mindfulness, Resilience, Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: A Game, Wellness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

authentic self, Identity, Michelangelo, Self awareness, Self discovery, Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way, Self-esteem

images“In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.”Michelangelo

For most of us the answer to the question, “Who am I?” is work in progress. There are times when we are certain who we are, what we like, and what we want; and other times when it seems we have no idea at all.

It has been said that identity isn’t just about what you have done, but what you would like to experience.

Playing “Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way” is a fun game designed to help you discover who you really are. You will be given a series of choices and asked which option resonates most with you.  Some will seem easy . . . black and white, while others will require careful contemplation.

Play the game each week and over time watch how your identity takes form; like Michelangelo chipping away at a block of marble, only to reveal what he already knew was inside.

Included in the game is a polling box in which you can cast your vote and see how your answer compares with others.

Game Rules:

1. Think about each option and decide which one you identify with the most.

2. You may feel like you can identify with both, but choose the one you lean towards.

3. Feel free to think about the options in any way you like: literally, symbolically, metaphorically, preferentially, etc.

4. Claim your identity by voting in the polling box at the bottom of the page, and just for the fun of it see what others are saying.

5. Check in each week to answer the latest question that will reveal your identity.

6. Keep a written record of your responses and watch a description of yourself unfold.

Option: Play this game with your friend or partner. See how well you know each other and build your relationship by sharing aspects of your personality.

Ready to play?

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

This Week’s Question (Round 20)

Are you more a “Stick” or a “Blade of Grass” 

Image

Share this:

  • Pinterest
  • Print
  • Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Email
  • LinkedIn
  • Facebook
  • Reddit

Like this:

Like Loading...

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 19)

17 Friday Jan 2014

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Resilience, Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: A Game

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

authentic self, Identity, Michelangelo, Quality of life, Resilience, Seld Discovery the Michelangelo Way, Self awareness, Self discovery, Self-esteem

images“In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.”Michelangelo

For most of us the answer to the question, “Who am I?” is work in progress. There are times when we are certain who we are, what we like, and what we want; and other times when it seems we have no idea at all.

It has been said that identity isn’t just about what you have done, but what you would like to experience.

Playing “Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way” is a fun game designed to help you discover who you really are. You will be given a series of choices and asked which option resonates most with you.  Some will seem easy . . . black and white, while others will require careful contemplation.

Play the game each week and over time watch how your identity takes form; like Michelangelo chipping away at a block of marble, only to reveal what he already knew was inside.

Included in the game is a polling box in which you can cast your vote and see how your answer compares with others.

Game Rules:

1. Think about each option and decide which one you identify with the most.

2. You may feel like you can identify with both, but choose the one you lean towards.

3. Feel free to think about the options in any way you like: literally, symbolically, metaphorically, preferentially, etc.

4. Claim your identity by voting in the polling box at the bottom of the page, and just for the fun of it see what others are saying.

5. Check in each week to answer the latest question that will reveal your identity.

6. Keep a written record of your responses and watch a description of yourself unfold.

Option: Play this game with your friend or partner. See how well you know each other and build your relationship by sharing aspects of your personality.

Ready to play?

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

This week’s question: Round 19

Are You More a Lap Top or a Pen?

Image

Share this:

  • Pinterest
  • Print
  • Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Email
  • LinkedIn
  • Facebook
  • Reddit

Like this:

Like Loading...

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 18)

22 Friday Nov 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Resilience, Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: A Game, Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

authentic self, chocolate milkshake, green smoothie, Identity, Michelangelo, Seld Discovery the Michelangelo Way, Self awareness, Self discovery, Self-esteem, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Day, The Thanks"giving" Cup Campaign

images“In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.”Michelangelo

For most of us the answer to the question, “Who am I?” is work in progress. There are times when we are certain who we are, what we like, and what we want; and other times when it seems we have no idea at all.

It has been said that identity isn’t just about what you have done, but what you would like to experience.

Playing “Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way” is a fun game designed to help you discover who you really are. You will be given a series of choices and asked which option resonates most with you.  Some will seem easy . . . black and white, while others will require careful contemplation.

Play the game each week and over time watch how your identity takes form; like Michelangelo chipping away at a block of marble, only to reveal what he already knew was inside.

Included in the game is a polling box in which you can cast your vote and see how your answer compares with others.

Game Rules:

1. Think about each option and decide which one you identify with the most.

2. You may feel like you can identify with both, but choose the one you lean towards.

3. Feel free to think about the options in any way you like: literally, symbolically, metaphorically, preferentially, etc.

4. Claim your identity by voting in the polling box at the bottom of the page, and just for the fun of it see what others are saying.

5. Check in each week to answer the latest question that will reveal your identity.

6. Keep a written record of your responses and watch a description of yourself unfold.

Option: Play this game with your friend or partner. See how well you know each other and build your relationship by sharing aspects of your personality.

Ready to play?

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

This weeks’ question (Round 18)

Are you a chocolate milkshake or a green smoothie?

Thanksgiving is right around the corner. How are you coming on the Thanks”giving” Cup Campaign?

993722_10200814480512054_573014598_n

Image

Related articles
  • Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 17) (barbarascovillelcsw.com)
  • Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 16) (barbarascovillelcsw.com)
  • Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 15) (barbarascovillelcsw.com)
  • Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 14) (barbarascovillelcsw.com)
  • Thanksgiving Day: 2 Weeks and Counting (barbarascovillelcsw.com)
  • The Thanks “giving” Cup Campaign (barbarascovillelcsw.com)

Share this:

  • Pinterest
  • Print
  • Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Email
  • LinkedIn
  • Facebook
  • Reddit

Like this:

Like Loading...

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 15)

17 Thursday Oct 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: A Game, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

authentic self, Games, Identity, Michelangelo, Self awareness, Self discovery, Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way, Self-esteem

images“In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.”Michelangelo

For most of us the answer to the question, “Who am I?” is work in progress. There are times when we are certain who we are, what we like, and what we want; and other times when it seems we have no idea at all.

It has been said that identity isn’t just about what you have done, but what you would like to experience.

Playing “Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way” is a fun game designed to help you discover who you really are. You will be given a series of choices and asked which option resonates most with you.  Some will seem easy . . . black and white, while others will require careful contemplation.

Play the game each week and over time watch how your identity takes form; like Michelangelo chipping away at a block of marble, only to reveal what he already knew was inside.

Included in the game is a polling box in which you can cast your vote and see how your answer compares with others.

Game Rules:

1. Think about each option and decide which one you identify with the most.

2. You may feel like you can identify with both, but choose the one you lean towards.

3. Feel free to think about the options in any way you like: literally, symbolically, metaphorically, preferentially, etc.

4. Claim your identity by voting in the polling box at the bottom of the page, and just for the fun of it see what others are saying.

5. Check in each week to answer the latest question that will reveal your identity.

6. Keep a written record of your responses and watch a description of yourself unfold.

Option: Play this game with your friend or partner. See how well you know each other and build your relationship by sharing aspects of your personality.

Ready to play?

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way

This Week’s Question: Round 15

Are you more a flower pot or a pencil holder?

Flower Pot
Pencil Holder

Image 

Related articles
  • Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 14) (barbarascovillelcsw.com)
  • Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 13) (barbarascovillelcsw.com)
  • Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 12) (barbarascovillelcsw.com)
  • Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 11) (barbarascovillelcsw.com)
  • Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 10) (barbarascovillelcsw.com)
  • Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 9) (barbarascovillelcsw.com)
  • Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: The Game (Round 8) (barbarascovillelcsw.com)

Share this:

  • Pinterest
  • Print
  • Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Email
  • LinkedIn
  • Facebook
  • Reddit

Like this:

Like Loading...

Energy Sucker #3: Perfectly Stuck

20 Saturday Apr 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Life Mastery Skills, Resilience, The Power to Do

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Being Perfect, Mental health, Perfectionism, Procrastination, Self-esteem, Wabi Sabi

the-world_s-top-10-best-images-of-animals-with-their-heads-stuck-10

“Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. Remember that fear always lurks behind perfection. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make yourself a happier and more productive person.” Dr. David M. Burns

In this post I’m going to address perfectionism as another barrier… or shall we say Energy Sucker to motivation, and give you a Liberation Plan to overcome this pernicious oppressor.

When you hear the word “perfectionism” what do you think? There are two different pictures that come to my mind.

One is of people taking their time and doing quality work. Whether it’s writing a novel, cleaning a bathroom, or building a shed, they always do their best.

The other picture is quite different. I see someone agonizing over a homework assignment, staying up all hours of the night fearing they are not doing enough; or a mother tossing and turning in bed, beating herself up for what she wasn’t able to accomplish that day (even though what she did accomplish was superhuman).

What it is perfectionism?

images

To be blunt, it is an illusion. Nothing can be perfect. Every perfectionist knows there is no limit to improving upon what they’re doing. Frustration always accompanies perfectionism when time runs out and the task isn’t yet up to their standards. They think, If I just had more time, I could make it perfect; but the truth is, perfectionists set standards so high, either they can not be met, or they are met with a very high price. Perfectionists believe anything less than perfection is unacceptable, fearing flaws would expose their unworthiness or weakness.

Perfectionists…

Have unrealistically high expectations and standards

Believe nothing short of perfection is acceptable

Get the blues when they experience failure and disappointment

Fear failure and disapproval

See mistakes as evidence of weakness

Become overly defensive when criticized

images

All of these things drain energy and are motivation saboteurs 😦 😦

 Perfectionism is Not…

 Self Worth.

While doing things well provides a sense of healthy accomplishment and self worth, insisting on perfection causes a sense of unworthiness. Every perfectionist believes there is no such thing as enough, so the result is always a feeling of I could’ve done better or more, resulting in a sense of unworthiness and low self-esteem.

Virtue

Insisting on perfection is not a virtue. It is an immediate set up for manifesting a sense of unworthiness by making demands that are impossible to meet. If you try to impose your perfectionism on others, you will experience disillusionment with humanity, missing out on much of the beauty of our rich but imperfect world. Perfectionism doesn’t sound like a virtue to me. It sounds like an abusive partner making unreasonable demands and then calling you derogatory names when those demands aren’t met.  “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life…” Ann Lamott

 …Working For You. There is a paradox in perfectionism and it goes like this. The more you try to be perfect, the more imperfect you become. Because the very nature of perfection is not possible, (obtaining it is always 1-10 steps beyond your reach) a sense of not being enough or unworthiness settles in, often paralyzing you from moving forward.  It’s confusing when somebody identifies herself as a perfectionist, but has an incredibly messy house. What you are seeing is the dark side of perfectionism in full swing. If the house cannot be cleaned perfectly, it won’t be cleaned at all.

Confession:  I’m embarrassed to share this with you but in the interest of helping I’m going to come clean.

scaredA couple of years ago, I applied to teach a summer class at the local university. I was accepted and for the first week I was elated.

After the excitement wore off, reality set in. “Oh my gosh! If I don’t do a perfect job I will be judged as incompetent! Everybody will know I’m not an expert and I will live the rest of my life in disgrace. I’d better do a perfect job and deliver a world-class lesson that people will rave about.”

I began to prepare for the class but with each step I took, I questioned myself and determined I wasn’t good enough. I kept trying, but the anxiety and sense of unworthiness built up to the point that I became paralyzed.

At the time I was caring for my mother who was terminally ill. In the middle of it all she took a drastic turn for the worse, which I felt was sufficient justification for withdrawing my application to teach. Everyone was very kind and supportive and let me off the hook.

I remember feeling like I made the right decision to withdraw, but am haunted to this day with the thought that the real reason I backed out was because of my perfectionism and feelings of unworthiness.

Last week I pulled out my course outline and reviewed it. Here’s the kicker. It was so good I couldn’t believe I wrote it, and I was painfully faced with how destructive perfectionism is.

     Perfectionism causes:

Difficulty living up to your own expectations

Feelings of frustration, depression, anxiety, and anger while trying to meet your standards

Procrastination

Difficulty trusting others

Avoiding anything spontaneous for fear of doing it wrong

Excessive checking

Constantly trying to improve things by redoing them

Agonizing over minutia

Making exhaustive to-do lists

Avoiding trying new things

Can you see how much energy this all takes and how it impacts motivation?

images

My Friend, if you give up the illusion of perfectionism and it’s evil twin unworthiness, room for motivation will open up.

Consider how much space you are allowing perfectionism to take up in your head. There was a time when my mind housed a penthouse apartment occupied by perfectionism.

Now think about how much space would open up if you evicted perfectionism.

images

You would be free to create without judgment

You would be more fun to be around because your sense of unworthiness would not be bleeding out of your pours

You would accomplish more because you would work without fear of being or doing wrong

Anger and frustration would leave because you wouldn’t be constantly attacking your sense of self worth

You would trust others more because you would abandon your fears of being judged and not see them as potential hostile criticizers

You would be a better friend and parent by not expecting perfection in others

 Suffering is Optional; there is a better way.

freedomLiberation Plan:

1. Simplify

Identify what’s most important to you and clear the deck by eliminating or downsizing everything else.

2.  Set Realistic Expectations

Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Part of perfectionism is wanting to do it all. Don’t be greedy by taking on more than you can handle, even if what you want to do is good. We all have 24 hours in a day and at least 8 of those should be spent sleeping.

3. Stop Making Comparisons

Comparing yourself to others is one of the most discouraging things you can do. We often look at people from a one- dimensional perspective, not taking into consideration what is happening in the rest of their lives. Visiting someone’s home that is spotless and well decorated may create a feeling of despair when you go back to your own home. What you don’t know is what their upstairs looks like. We often put others on pedestals thinking they are so much better or smarter then ourselves. We are all people and no one is better than another. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.

4. Understand the Real Source of Self Worth

While its nice to receive compliments for excellent work, our individual worth should not be dependent on them. After all, basing our self worth on others is “other worth” not self worth. Self worth should be dependent on the state of our own hearts, how much we love and show compassion, and if we are doing our best, which is not an unobtainable idealized goal.

5. Cultivate Healthy Striving

It’s good to work hard and do a good job. It is also good to continually push yourself to a reasonable degree beyond your limits. Healthy striving as opposed to perfectionism is always working to improve, but stopping short of expecting perfection. At night you should be able to identify what you have accomplished, and be content knowing tomorrow is another day.

6. Be Mindful and Take Things One Step at a Time

Being mindful means staying in the here and now. It is remaining non-judgmental and focused on whatever it is you’re doing. Slow down, take a breath, and do one thing at a time. If you are doing the dishes, do the dishes. If you are writing a paper, write the paper, if you are playing with your children, play with your children. Don’t pay attention to the chatter going on in your head telling you, you should be working faster and doing more. When the chatter breaks through your attention, gently return your mind to the task at hand.

7. Cultivate an Appreciation for Wabi Sabi (My favorite :-))

“Perfectionism is a mean, frozen form of idealism, while messes are the artist’s true friend”  Anne Lamott

A work of Wabi Sabi art that hangs beautifully in it's imperfection in my office

A work of Wabi Sabi art that hangs beautifully in it’s imperfection in my office

Wabi Sabi is the Japanese art of impermanence and imperfection. It values flaws as an expression of humanity and is as a result, beautiful.

Maven Momma writes: http://madamemaven.blogspot.com/2009/03/design-wabi-sabi-mommi.html

…Then I remembered the Japanese philosophy I love most of all: Wabi Sabi. I am too       much a Westerner to explain the concept accurately, but I will sum it up like this: Its roots in Zen Buddhism, wabi sabi is about the perfection of impermanence and imperfection.

…The moment I started to remember wabi sabi, I began to love the beautiful chaos of motherhood.

images

Ring the bells that still can ring,

Forget your perfect offering.

There’s a hole in everything,

That’s how the light comes thru.

Leonard Cohen (“Ring the Bells That Still Can Ring”)

 So my friend, using at least one of the 7 tips from my Liberation Plan, I challenge you to

Free Yourself From the Tyranny of Perfectionism and Unlock the Oppressive Chains Cramping Your Motivation

Share with our community of reader challenges you have had with perfectionism and the tips you use to get un-stuck. We’re all in this together. Until next time, have a great week.

Shine on 🙂

Barbara

P.S. Don’t forget to vote yes or no on Pioneers of Peace: Red Cup post. Next week I will fill you in.

                                                            Thanks :-)

wfp154695

 

 Related articles

  • How to Overcome Perfectionism (magnusentblog.wordpress.com)
  • Overcome Perfectionism; Perfect Does Not Exist (therealsupermumblog.com)

Share this:

  • Pinterest
  • Print
  • Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Email
  • LinkedIn
  • Facebook
  • Reddit

Like this:

Like Loading...

The Power to Do: The List (a.k.a The Energy Suckers)

17 Sunday Mar 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Life Mastery Skills, Resilience, The Power to Do

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Energy, Mental health, Motivation, Self-esteem, Self-Help, Time management

images

“I hate getting ready for bed!” I am so comfortable reading in my chair at night that I just don’t want to move. The next thing you know I drift off to sleep and when I wake up it’s all I can do to get myself to bed.  Washing my face and brushing my teeth is torture.”

“Homework!!! I dread doing my homework. I don’t like what I’m studying and I can’t see the point.  I’d rather be eating Oreos and playing Call of Duty.”

“Housework!!! Really? Do I have to clean the house. There are so many other things I’d rather be doing. Facing six loads of laundry and dishes piled up in the sink is so overwhelming, and not only that it would take me all day.”

“Making important phone calls!!! I hate making important phone calls. I’m afraid people will think I’m stupid and they won’t give me what I want.”

Disclaimer:  The statements I have written are a combination of my voice and others. They DO NOT represent any one person.

Fill in the blank:

I have trouble getting started_________________________________________

because__________________________________________________________.

A couple of weeks ago in preparation for this post, I asked several people to share with me what they have trouble doing or getting started on. As I looked over the different statements they made, it became clear to me, that underneath each challenge, there is host of reasons for not being able to get started…and cause lack of motivation.  

As the reasons started piling up…

080109_piling_up_of_media

I began to think about how many talk about the need for powering through lack of motivation, but rarely address the root issues (with the exception of depression) causing the lack of motivation. It occurred to me that if we understood the reasons… or barriers stopping us, we would have something to sink our teeth into and work with. 

With that, I’ve decided to slow down and explore each barrier, and I invite you to walk with me by contributing your thoughts on the subject. Thanks to those who commented on my original “Power to Do” post, dated 3/10/13. Your thoughts were insightful and helpful to all those who read them. For those of you who didn’t get a chance to read them, please take the time to do so. I’m betting you will be glad you did.

images

So far I have identified fourteen barriers to accomplishment and before I go any further, I want to list those for you, so you know where we will be heading  for the duration of this series.

The List  a.k.a. “The Energy Suckers”

sad-doggy

1. The belief that motivation has to be present to get things done

2. Fear

3. Not wanting to give up personal control

4. Not wanting to leave our comfort zone

5. Low self-esteem

6. Already feeling overwhelmed

7. Lack of skill

8. Over estimating or under estimating how long the task or achieving the goal will take

9. Depression

10. The task or goal is distasteful

11. Something in the environment makes it especially difficult

12. Indecision about what we want to do

13. Rigid thoughts

14. Perfectionism

Twitter_question_mark

If you can think of any others, let me know; but for now, ask yourself which of these  keep you from moving forward. 

Until next time… Shine On 🙂

Barbara

 

Related articles
  • Building Self-Motivation (healthylifestyleplus.com)

Share this:

  • Pinterest
  • Print
  • Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Email
  • LinkedIn
  • Facebook
  • Reddit

Like this:

Like Loading...

Definition of Pioneer of Peace

07 Friday Dec 2012

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Pioneers of Peace, Resilience

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Activism and Peace Work, Fred Rogers, Nelson Mandela, Peace, Self-esteem

Definition: Pioneer of Peace 1. One who walks a path cleared by love  2. One who walks; not just talks  

Ten years ago I had a dream. In the dream I heard a poem in which the phrase “pioneer of peace” kept repeating itself over and over. When I woke up, I knew the dream was more than a dream

The message was, “Choose peace through kindness and service; always building up, and never tearing down.”

Small acts of kindness are more powerful than the time it takes to perform them. Many times in my practice I see how de-stabilizing mean spirited-ness and sharp words are.  Long after the person who said the offending words has forgotten he said them, the recipient is still agonizing over them.  The impact has far-reaching effects and is a major contributor to low self-esteem, depression and anxiety.

Becoming a pioneer of peace means choosing not to contribute to a world in which cynicism and demeaning behavior have become spotlighted in popular culture. A pioneer of peace chooses hope and compassion, and looks for opportunities to uplift others.  I am a pioneer of peace (lower case). Fred Rogers, Nelson Mandela, and Mother Theresa are Pioneers of Peace (upper case).

My invitation to you; is to walk with me.

 

Share this:

  • Pinterest
  • Print
  • Twitter
  • Tumblr
  • Email
  • LinkedIn
  • Facebook
  • Reddit

Like this:

Like Loading...

Recent Posts

  • Ripples on the Ocean of Kindness
  • Food for Thought
  • Meditating in Paris
  • Walking the Labryinth
  • When an Empty Basket is a Good Thing

Archives

  • January 2021
  • December 2020
  • April 2019
  • May 2018
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012

Categories

  • Altruism
  • Caregiver's Storyboard
  • charitable sewing
  • Compassionate Knitting
  • Emotion School
  • Fear
  • homeless
  • homeless youth
  • Homelessness
  • humanitarian service
  • Imagination
  • Inspiration
  • Life Mastery Skills
  • making a difference
  • Meditation
  • Metta
  • Mindfulness
  • Motivation
  • Pioneers of Peace
  • Quotes
  • Recipes
  • Refugees
  • Resilience
  • Self Discovery the Michelangelo Way: A Game
  • The Optimism Corner
  • The Pioneers of Peace Thanks"Giving" Cup Campaign
  • The Power to Do
  • The Thanks"giving" Cup Campaign
  • Uncategorized
  • Utah Refugee Center
  • Valentine's Day
  • VOA Homeless Youth Resource Center
  • Wellness

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 188 other followers

Blog at WordPress.com.

Cancel

 
Loading Comments...
Comment
    ×
    loading Cancel
    Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
    Email check failed, please try again
    Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.
    <span>%d</span> bloggers like this: