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Barbara Scoville, LCSW

~ Pioneers of Peace™

Barbara Scoville, LCSW

Tag Archives: Stress management

Do You Suffer From Anxiety?

02 Sunday Mar 2014

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Emotion School, Life Mastery Skills, Mindfulness, Resilience, Wellness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Anxiety, Emotions, excessive anxiety and worry, Generalized Anxiety, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Stress, Stress management, Worry

Philosopher's Path  Kyoto, Japan

Philosopher’s Path
Kyoto, Japan

Don’t let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries.  Astrid Alauda

 

Dear Friends, do you suffer from anxiety?

Did you know that 3.1% (6.8 million people) of Americans suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder?

 According to the DSMlV you have Generalized Anxiety (GAD) if:

A. At least 6 months of “excessive anxiety and worry” about a variety of events and situations. Generally, “excessive” can be interpreted as more than would be expected for a particular situation or event. Most people become anxious over certain things, but the intensity of the anxiety typically corresponds to the situation.

B. There is significant difficulty in controlling the anxiety and worry. If someone has a very difficult struggle to regain control, relax, or cope with the anxiety and worry, then this requirement is met.

C. The presence for most days over the previous six months of 3 or more (only 1 for children) of the following symptoms:

1. Feeling wound-up, tense, or restless

2. Easily becoming fatigued or worn-out

3. Concentration problems

4. Irritability

5. Significant tension in muscles

6. Difficulty with sleep

D. The symptoms are not part of another mental disorder.

E. The symptoms cause “clinically significant distress” or problems functioning in daily life. “Clinically significant” is the part that relies on the perspective of the treatment provider. Some people can have many of the aforementioned symptoms and cope with them well enough to maintain a high level of functioning.

F. The condition is not due to a substance or medical issue

-DSMlV

Does any of that sound familiar to you?

Anxiety is a physical condition. We experience it in association with the emotion fear.

When we find ourselves in situations we don’t believe we can handle, our brain interprets that as a danger to our survival and immediately releases hormones such as adrenalin and cortisol to prepare us to fight, flight, or freeze.

Those hormones cause chemical changes in our body that translate into the symptoms of anxiety. Think for a moment what it feels like when adrenalin is rushing through your veins.

In our busy lives, the  demands on our attention and time are extreme. It is natural to feel like what we are asked to do is more than we can handle. Feeling like we “can’t handle it” is the most common cause of GAD.

“It’s not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: what are we busy about?”    Henry David Thoreau

We each have a different capacity for how much we can handle.

Do you ever feel like your plate is too full? There are times in our lives such as when we are parenting small children, or going to school while working that can make us feel like we can’t do it all.

Other times we have chosen to do too many things or accepted assignments we really don’t have time to do, or may not even know how to do.

It really gets complicated when ALL of the above apply.

Often our perception of what we have to do is the culprit.

If we believe:

 ... we must be perfect and always have the approval of others

or,

… demand that others always do “the right thing”

or

…believe life must be easy or something is wrong

… then we will have anxiety because those along with many other beliefs are not based in truth. We can’t “handle” a fantasy.

Fact #1          Nobody is perfect. It is impossible to have everyone’s approval.

Fact #2          The only person we can control is ourselves.

Fact #3          The nature of life is change.

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What Can You Do if You Have Anxiety?

  • Understand it is up to you to find relief. The world will not change.
  • Simplify… Take an honest look at how you are spending your time and make changes.
  • Ask for, and accept help. Don’t make the mistake of thinking YOU have to do it all.
  • Tell yourself you can handle it… try it. It’s amazing how powerful those words are coming from your own lips.
  • Take care of yourself by getting sleep, exercise, and proper nutrition…you can’t expect your body to function at it’s highest level if you are not taking care of it.
  • Learn how to breathe for stress relief… inhale count to 5…exhale count to 7
  • Meditate… access your higher power.
  • Don’t catastrophize… life is hard enough. Don’t embellish it. Making it sound bigger makes it feel bigger.

If you have struggled with anxiety, you are in good company. Here is a list of well known people who have or had anxiety.

  • Isaac Asimov (author)
  • Kim Basinger (actress)
  • Roseanne Barr (comedian)
  • David Bowie (singer)
  • Charlotte Bronte (author)
  • Barbara Bush (former First Lady – U.S.)
  • John Candy (comedian)
  • Naomi Campbell (model)
  • Ray Charles (musician)
  • Eric Clapton (musician)
  • Dick Clark (television personality)
  • Cher (singer, actress)
  • Michael Crichton (writer)
  • Sheryl Crow (musician)
  • Johnny Depp (actor)
  • Edie Falco (actress)
  • Sally Field (actress)
  • Sigmund Freud (psychiatrist)
  • Aretha Franklin (singer)
  • James Garner (actor)
  • Anthony Hopkins (actor)
  • Olivia Hussey (actress)
  • Naomi Judd (singer)
  • Nicole Kidman (actress)
  • Courtney Love (singer – actress)
  • John Madden (announcer)
  • Howie Mandel (comic)
  • Robert McFarlane (former National Security Advisor – U.S.)
  • John Cougar Mellancamp (musician, actor)
  • John Stuart Mill (philosopher)
  • Alanis Morisette (singer)
  • Sir Isaac Newton (scientist)
  • Sir Laurence Olivier (actor)
  • Donny Osmond (actor)
  • Marie Osmand (entertainer)
  • Bonnie Raitt (musician)
  • Burt Reynolds (actor)
  • Joan Rivers (actress)
  • Winona Ryder (actress)
  • Charles Schultz (cartoonist)
  • Willard Scott (weatherman)
  • Sam Shepard (playwright)
  • Sissy Spacek (actress)
  • Carly Simon (singer)
  • John Steinbeck (author)
  • Howard Stern (king of media)
  • Barbra Streisand (singer)
  • Dave Stewart of the (singer – Eurythmics)
  • Anne Tyler (author)
  • Ann Wilson (singer)
  • Oprah Winfrey (host)
  • W.B. Yeats (poet)

I would love to hear how anxiety has impacted you in your life. Your comments help me, help you.  I along with fellow readers would welcome any tips you have discovered along the way that have helped in managing your anxiety.

Until next, time may you find your cup half full 🙂

Love, Barbara

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Embrace Your Uglies: They’re Sheep in Wolves’ Clothing

08 Sunday Sep 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Emotion School, Life Mastery Skills, Resilience, Wellness

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Buddhist psychology, Exposure for anxiety, Face your fear, Fear, Mindfulness of Emotion, Self-Help, Situational exposure, Stress management, stress management skills

I see you Mara...Sit down and have a cup of tea with me

I see you Mara…Sit down and have a cup of tea with me

…Oh Crap!!! I thought. The hair on my arms stood up, and I immediately knew that shutting the door was a big mistake. Everything inside me was screaming danger, danger…

It was in the spring of the year 2000. I was doing an internship at the University of Utah’s bone marrow transplant unit, and on this particular day I was screening prospective transplant candidates, by giving them psychological assessments.

Bone marrow transplantation is a difficult and lengthy procedure which has the potential of causing a person to regress emotionally under the strain. It’s important to know in advance potential problems that could arise.

I had just said goodbye to a lovely 15 year-old girl with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, when I walked into the waiting room to get my next patient.  “Mr. So in So, I’m ready for you,” I said, clip board in hand.

Looking back, I don’t know if I was too new to understand such courtesies as eye contact and introducing myself, or if I was just lost in a cloud of sadness from my previous interview. Whatever it was, my neglect proved to be disastrous.

He stood up and followed me to my office, which was a tiny room on the 5th floor, overlooking the Salt Lake Valley. After he walked through the door and took his seat, I shut the door as I always did to provide privacy, and turned around to look at him for the very first time.

Oh Crap!!! I thought. The hair on my arms stood up, and I immediately knew that shutting the door was a big mistake. Everything inside me was screaming danger, danger!

There wasn’t anything unique about his appearance. He wasn’t covered in tattoo’s and piercings. He wasn’t drunk. He wasn’t wearing a t-shirt that suggested anything provocative…there was just something about him.

I quickly assessed the situation. Should I open the door and let him know I was scared, or should I ignore my fear? After all, maybe I’m just being irrational. I chose the latter, which by the way, I learned to never do again.

It turns out my instincts were correct. This man had been released from prison the day before, his term shortened because of a leukemia diagnosis. Throughout the interview he baited me by boasting about his criminal escapades.

“Do you see all of those homes out there?” he said pointing out the window overlooking the valley. “I hid in the bushes and looked through many of those windows, watching women undress without them ever knowing it.”

Following through with my attempt to stuff my fear, I pressed on asking the interview questions. “So, Mr. So in So, have you had any surgeries or ever been hospitalized?”

Instead of answering the question, he said, “I’m scaring you aren’t I?”

“You’re not scaring me”, I said with a lump growing in my throat.

“Yes I am, I am scaring you,” he said.

“You are not,” I said forcing a smile.

“Yes I am. Do you want to know how I know?” he said with a sneer on his face.

“Yes, how do you know,” I said smugly trying to keep the upper hand.

“Because, you have big red blotches all over your chest.”

And then I knew, he knew. I was wearing a blue knit V-neck sweater.

Just as a side note I did not recommend him for transplant. My recommendations were ignored, but thankfully I wasn’t asked to work with him again. During the course of his treatment he held a doctor hostage. The hospital security team was called in and it was a standoff that lasted for quite some time, ending with a strategically placed shot of Haldol.

Skip forward to early fall that same year. The weather was hot in September, and this time I was doing an internship at Valley Mental Health, an outpatient-counseling clinic.

The temperature outside was nearing 100 degrees. I sat down next to a colleague for our weekly staff meeting, and as soon as I got comfortable, he leaned over to me and whispered, “What’s with the turtle neck sweater? Aren’t you hot?”

P1010416

After the meeting was over I shared my story of the ex-prisoner. I explained that after that interview, every time I found myself in a threatening situation, or even the slightest bit uncomfortable, I would break out in red blotches.

When I felt the red blotches coming on, I’d get embarrassed and that made them worse. It had gotten so bad, it felt like I was wearing blotches most of the time.

I didn’t EVER want to be in a situation again where:

1. A client could see that I was nervous

2. Somebody could think they had the power to unnerve me

3. People could see that my emotions had control over me

Wearing turtlenecks seemed like the easiest solution 😦

My colleague shared with me that he was a student of Buddhist psychology, and he thought he could help me with my problem. I was desperate and agreed to listen.

“Barb, you need to take the turtle necks off and put your V-necks on again. You need to embrace your blotches. Welcome them. Literally say, “Oh blotches, so good to see you. Thank you for coming. It’s so nice of you to come and remind me I’m feeling powerful emotions.”

“Are you serious?” I said looking dumbfounded. He assured me he was very serious and then reminded me: emotion’s job is to get our attention. If it senses it has our attention, it can leave. When we stuff emotion, it thinks, hmmm…she’s not listening. We need to turn the volume up, hence the blotches.

“But what should I do about my clients when the blotches come?” He said,” Just say, ‘Yep, here come my blotches. When I feel things strongly I get blotches.’ Just own them, he said. Act as if they’re no big deal. Your clients will see you modeling emotional regulation, and besides, they’ll see you’re human.”

Although it seemed counter intuitive, I decided to give it a try. I took the turtlenecks off and returned to wearing weather appropriate clothes.

I was hoping that would be enough…you know…show those blotches who was boss, but I wasn’t that lucky. It being the first month of actually practicing therapy, I had many experiences that brought the blotches out.

I see you Mara...Sit down and have a cup of tea with me

I see you Mara…Sit down and have a cup of tea with me

After that conversation, each time the blotches came, I welcomed them, somewhat the same way the Buddha did when Mara came for tea. See:

http://newbuddhist.com/discussion/2001/making-tea-for-mara

It became a game that I actually looked forward to. My friend was right. My clients did appreciate my honesty and they learned how to manage their version of blotches right along with me.

One day, again in a staff meeting, I was called upon to give an impromptu brief diagnostic formulation of a client. “Aughh! I’ve never done this before, and everyone is watching me. What if I make a fool out of myself? Everyone is going to see how inexperienced I am. I better start welcoming my blotches…at least they’re my friends.”

“Welcome blotches. Thank you so much for coming…but wait…where are you? Blotches, where are you?”

I had overcome my blotches. They had accomplished their work and could go home. Over the years they have returned when I am in the most difficult situations, and I welcome them back as validation that I am truly going though a hard time.

We have an amicable relationship, and therein I found my real power.

PLEASE take 14 minutes and watch the Ted Talk below. I believe it is the scientific explanation for why embracing your uglies works. Not only that, but it changes the way we think about stress. The implication being, “It’s what we make stress mean that’s the real killer.” If you can’t watch it right now, do yourself a big favor and bookmark it so that you can come back to it later.

That’s it for this week. 

Until next time, may you find your cup half full 🙂

Barbara (The Blog Whisperer)

Image

 

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Weekly Wellness Check-in

24 Monday Jun 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Life Mastery Skills, Resilience, Wellness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Frienship, Quality of life, Resilience, Stress management, Weekly Wellness Check-in, well being

dragonfly_green

IMG_0797

Indicator #24

I am able to make and keep friends

“Weekly Wellness Check-in” is an ongoing weekly post appearing on Mondays, in which I  present one indicator from a checklist of positive mental health attributes. Take a look at the indicator and think about how it applies to you, keeping in mind it is an important factor of well-being. We all excel at some things, and need to work on others. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10; One, meaning I am a failure at this, and ten, meaning I have no room for improvement. Nobody may record a 1 or a 10 because there are no failures, and nobody is perfect.  If you are happy with where you placed yourself, consider the indicator a strength.  If you aren’t, think about a “realistic” place you would like to be, and how you might carry out getting there. My hope is that you will give it some gentle thought. I’d love to hear your tips on how to make each a strength in the comment section.

Previous weeks…

Indicator #1  I get a good night’s sleep so I feel healthy and alert

Indicator #2  I eat healthy foods to promote health and well being

Indicator #3  I exercise regularly

Indicator #4  I avoid mood altering substances (unless taken as prescribed).

Indicator #5  I make time each week to engage in activities that give me pleasure

Indicator #6  I have friends and family that I can talk to whenever I need a sense of connectedness

Indicator #7  I live in a home that feels safe and nurturing

Indicator #8  I actively seek solutions for the complaints I have regarding my life, work, and school
Indicator #9  I know how to forgive myself and others who have hurt me in the past

Indicator #10  I let go of guilt for my past mistakes

Indicator #11  I have enough money, time, friends, space, love, fun, and affection

Indicator #12  I take action based out of love rather than fear

Indicator #13  I am part of a community that gives me a sense of purpose

Indicator #14  I live a life based on choice and meaning

Indicator #15  I am able to ask others for what I need

Indicator# 16  I am able to say no when I don’t want to do something

Indicator #17  I am effectively able to express my feelings and stand up for what I believe in

Indicator #18  I am able to identify what emotion I am feeling at any given time

Indicator #19  I am able to tolerate negative emotion

Indictor #20  I have good problem solving skills

Indicator #21  I am able to set and achieve goals

Indicator #22  In the long run problems make me stronger.

Indicator #23  I have good stress management skills

Wellness

Wellness

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Weekly Wellness Check-in

17 Monday Jun 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Life Mastery Skills, Resilience, Wellness

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Mental health, positive mental health, Resilience, Stress ball, Stress management, stress management skills, Weekly Wellness Check-in, wellness

dragonfly_green

1347025884_587stress-management-2

Indicator #23

I have good stress management skills

“Weekly Wellness Check-in” is an ongoing weekly post appearing on Mondays, in which I  present one indicator from a checklist of positive mental health attributes. Take a look at the indicator and think about how it applies to you, keeping in mind it is an important factor of well-being. We all excel at some things, and need to work on others. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10; One, meaning I am a failure at this, and ten, meaning I have no room for improvement. Nobody may record a 1 or a 10 because there are no failures, and nobody is perfect.  If you are happy with where you placed yourself, consider the indicator a strength.  If you aren’t, think about a “realistic” place you would like to be, and how you might carry out getting there. My hope is that you will give it some gentle thought. I’d love to hear your tips on how to make each a strength in the comment section.

Previous weeks…

Indicator #1  I get a good night’s sleep so I feel healthy and alert

Indicator #2  I eat healthy foods to promote health and well being

Indicator #3  I exercise regularly

Indicator #4  I avoid mood altering substances (unless taken as prescribed).

Indicator #5  I make time each week to engage in activities that give me pleasure

Indicator #6  I have friends and family that I can talk to whenever I need a sense of connectedness

Indicator #7  I live in a home that feels safe and nurturing

Indicator #8  I actively seek solutions for the complaints I have regarding my life, work, and school
Indicator #9  I know how to forgive myself and others who have hurt me in the past

Indicator #10  I let go of guilt for my past mistakes

Indicator #11  I have enough money, time, friends, space, love, fun, and affection

Indicator #12  I take action based out of love rather than fear

Indicator #13  I am part of a community that gives me a sense of purpose

Indicator #14  I live a life based on choice and meaning

Indicator #15  I am able to ask others for what I need

Indicator# 16  I am able to say no when I don’t want to do something

Indicator #17  I am effectively able to express my feelings and stand up for what I believe in

Indicator #18  I am able to identify what emotion I am feeling at any given time

Indicator #19  I am able to tolerate negative emotion

Indictor #20  I have good problem solving skills

Indicator #21  I am able to set and achieve goals

Indicator #22  In the long run problems make me stronger.

Wellness

Wellness

 

 

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Mindfulness

17 Sunday Feb 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Life Mastery Skills, Mindfulness, Resilience, Wellness

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Buddhism, health, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mental health, Mindfulness, Seung Sahn, Stress management

images

A couple of weeks ago I  wrote:

Managing stress is as much a personal responsibility as not smoking, wearing a seat belt, and not using drugs. Nobody is going to do it for us. Ignoring or enduring stress can lead to such unhappy consequences as: heart disease, diabetes, obesity, chronic headaches, sleep problems, depression and anxiety, irritable bowl syndrome, cancer, and premature aging. These problems creep up over time and can catch us off guard while we are painfully trying to “Do Our Best.”  From: 7 Tips for Managing Stress 2/2/2013

I listed several ways to manage stress which included: getting enough sleep, exercising, talking with friends, avoiding looking at things with a microscope, taking a mental vacation, journaling, and the practice of mindfulness.  There are many other methods for living a more peaceful life and I would love it if this blog could become a community of readers who share their tips. This week I am going to focus on the practice of mindfulness.

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Ten years ago mindfulness was seldom mentioned. In fact, it was a concept that was just beginning to take form in the therapeutic community as a mental practice with  potential related to stress reduction. Around that time I was working at a mental health agency that was beginning to implement a new treatment model whose foundation was based in mindfulness practice. Along with a colleague I was asked to master the treatment model, lead a group therapy session with clients, and educate our staff so that their clients could benefit from this new form of therapy.

All I knew about mindfulness was that is was a form of meditation finding it’s roots in Buddhism, and though it was practiced all over the world, was primarily an Eastern practice. I was honored to be asked, scared about the responsibility, but THRILLED at the thought of having such a cool job that I was actually going to get paid to learn how to meditate.

It has been twelve years since that time and I have a profound respect for mindfulness practice. I have learned a lot but still consider myself an”advanced beginner.” I know this will be not only a life-long pursuit of learning, but “being.”

Jon Kabat-Zinn

Jon Kabat-Zinn

In the late 1970’s Jon Kabat-Zinn was developing his own mindfulness practice under the Korean Zen master Seung Sahn. The following is an excerpt from mindful.org The Man Who Prescribes the Medicine of the Moment

On a more intimate note, he recalls interactions with his teacher, the late Seung Sahn (known to his students as Soen Sa Nim), with obvious admiration and a discernible sense of the teacher’s presence… “I said to him,” he recalls, “‘Soen Sa Nim, I’m here to learn how to practice from you. I’m not interested in being a teacher; I want to be the student.’ And he said ‘If you are my student, then this is how you will learn to be a student, as you teach.’ And I said, ‘But I don’t know anything. I don’t know what to do. I wouldn’t know what to talk about.’ And he said, ‘Aawwwwww,’ as if he really deeply understood what my issue was, ‘no problem, you only talk about area you understand. Don’t talk about area you don’t understand.’”

Singing Bowls

Singing Bowls

Let me share with you some of what I understand about this sacred practice…

Mindfulness begins with welcoming yourself in this present moment.

Some people avoid mindfulness because they are too shy to meet themselves, fearing who they really are. This is what comes from listening to everyone’s voices but their own. We have nothing to fear and everything to gain by investing time in our own minds. It is the only place we can meet God and or our higher selves, and see the present moment for what it is without judgment. It is the only place we can make wise choices.

Mindfulness practice is not about Nirvana. Practice is about strengthening the mind, just as going to the gym is about strengthening the body.

Mindfulness is state of being. It’s about being in the moment. There is a difference between practicing mindfulness and mindfulness.

Mindfulness is about watching your mind, your breathing, or whatever you are focusing on from an observer’s view; an observer with wisdom and compassion.

Mindfulness is about describing what you become aware of one-mindfully and non- judgmentally.

Mindfulness can be practiced sitting, standing, walking, eating, running, singing, playing the piano, cleaning, building…there is no one way…the possibilities are limitless

The practice of mindfulness is the practice of staying in the here and now. Marsha Linehan has said, “Our minds are like untrained puppies. We tell it to sit and stay…and it will for a moment and then run off. We must gently call it back.” This is the nature of our minds. This is what we are disciplining through practice.

Through the practice of mindfulness, we become our master.

A fruit of mindfulness is acceptance. Non acceptance is a source of great unhappiness. Therefore mindfulness brings peace.

Formal mindfulness practice involves designating a period of time on a regular basis to practice. Informal practice involves randomly checking in to the here and now, and opening your awareness to what is present. Both are useful.

Research linking the health benefits to mindfulness were based on formal practice.

As little as 10 minutes a day has shown to be beneficial in as short of a time as two weeks. Surprisingly this 10 minute period can be broken up into two 5 minute periods.

A Google search on mindfulness practice yields 10,200,00 results.

When I have been able to maintain a formal practice, I feel balanced, more in control of my emotions, less reactive, happier, and more compassionate towards others. It sounds strange, but I believe my body responds in a unique way.  I feel like my body, mind, and soul are cooperating for my optimal well-being.

I re-posted an article written in December called, “Get Me Off of This Merry-go-Round.” If you missed it, take a look. Below is a Ted Talk on mindfulness for your viewing. Its well worth the 10 minutes it takes.

At least once a month we will be exploring the topic of mindfulness and it is my hope that you will begin your own practice. 10 minutes a day is all it takes to both open and manage your world.

Shine on 🙂

Barbara

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7 Tips for Managing Stress

02 Saturday Feb 2013

Posted by Barbara Scoville, LCSW in Emotion School, Life Mastery Skills, Resilience, Wellness

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

Stress management

stress_cat_tile_coaster

How do you spell stress?

K-I-D-S

W-O-R-K

M-O-N-E-Y

S-C-H-O-O-L

M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E

D-E-C-I-S-I-O-N-S

L-I-F-E.

Barbara’s definition of stress:

The physical reaction one has when he/she feels like there is more to do, learn, or simply be, than is physically or mentally possible. It is the reaction one experiences when having thoughts like, “I can’t handle this,” or “I can do this, but it will deplete my energy and resources,” accompanied by feelings of helplessness and or fear and resentment.

To paraphrase one of the dictionary definitions I read: Stress is pressure applied to something. Ha! I’m visualizing a cartoon elephant sitting on a balloon, stretching it as far as it will go until it eventually pops. How many times have you felt like that?

High Stress has become more common than the common cold and even though we hate it, we accept it as a necessary evil in our daily lives. I realize that being a therapist skews my perception, but everywhere I go I hear people talking about how stressed they are. Eavesdrop on any conversation in a restaurant or store and you will overhear something similar to this:

“Oh my gosh, I had a panic attack when I was asked to volunteer an extra day at my kid’s school this week.”

“I’ll go out of my mind if one more person asks me to do something.”

“I’m so busy! I wake up earlier and earlier each day, but still can’t do all I should do.”

“I’m so stressed! I have two papers and a test this week…and I have to work! Do I get to have a social life?”

or… you fill in the blanks

I am so stressed! I have to _____, and______and_____. My_____wants me to_____, which will mean I can’t_____. I feel like_____!

What has happened to us? How did we fall down the slippery slope of accepting stress as a badge for “Doing Our Best?” At what point did we abdicate our volition and allow ourselves to be dragged around by multiple task masters. When did we forget that listening to our heart, and the wisdom it dictates, is our best organizer. There are many voices that are more than happy to tell us what to do and how to be. Whether it is the media in all of it’s many forms, work, school, or the unrealistically high expectations we set for ourselves, the bottom line is, too many outside voices make it nearly impossible to hear our own hearts and what we intuitively know we should be doing with our time.

STOP! You are still in charge of your life. Find a quiet place and…

1. Ask your heart what is the best use of your energy.

2. Choose wisely and then take responsibility for what you have chosen.

3. Understand that you can’t be everything to everyone.

4. Know that there is a time and a place for everything.

5. Understand there will always be stress, but it shouldn’t dominate.

Managing stress is as much a personal responsibility as not smoking, wearing a seat belt, and not using drugs. Nobody is going to do it for us. Ignoring or enduring stress can lead to such unhappy consequences as: heart disease, diabetes, obesity, chronic headaches, sleep problems, depression and anxiety, irritable bowl syndrome, cancer, and premature aging. These problems creep up over time and can catch us off guard while we are painfully trying to “Do Our Best.” A lot of “thanks” for our good intentions. Right? Wrong! If we want to truly function at our highest level, we must live our lives in such a way that stress does not overpower us, but takes it’s place in the backseat, encouraging us to try a little harder and do a little more.

I’d like to propose, that we make a decision today to recognize a new badge for “Doing Our Best.” What could it be called?

How about “Enough.”

Below are 7 tips for managing stress

Tip 1: Get Enough Sleep

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Tip 2: Exercise

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Tip 3: Practice Mindfulness

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Tip 4: Talk to Friends

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Tip 5: Avoid Using a Magnifying Glass; Stop Over Thinking 

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Tip 6: Write it Down

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Tip 7: Escape: Take a Vacation or Mental Break

purple-fields-ludwig_1490_990x742Be a “pioneer of peace” and share your tips for managing stress by pressing the comment button in the upper right hand corner of this post. Your tip could make a difference in someone else’s life.

Shine on 🙂

Barbara

Related articles
  • 17 Psychology Experts Share their Best Stress Relief Tips (psychologytoday.com)
  • 4 Healthy Ways to Cope with Stress (psychologytoday.com)

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