Encouragement for Navigating Overwhelm
More and more people are sharing with me the distress they are experiencing because of the countless alarming world events currently confronting us. Wars, political divisiveness, distrust of media, economic problems, mass shootings, increased suicide rates, climate change, the ripples and repercussions of Covid-19, racism, sexism … and the list goes on and on. For so many of us the world feels like a very scary and dangerous place.
Since the beginning of time all sentient beings have had to navigate and endure major crises. Whether we are directly experiencing these calamities or witnessing them from afar, they impact our sense of safety and well-being. We may understandably feel hopeless and defeated.
It is fair to say that our realities are different from the famines, wars, and pandemics of days gone by. Consider our modern technology, for example. We live in an unprecedented time of moment-to-moment media coverage, with high-definition sounds and images constantly bombarding us with one tragedy after another. Because of mirror neurons in the brain, we are regularly experiencing secondary trauma.
In the George C. Scott video of Dickens’ classic tale, A Christmas Carol, there is a scene where The Ghost of Christmas Present opens his elegant robe to reveal two emaciated children. Scrooge is horrified! He is told that the children’s names are Ignorance and Want. Scrooge turns away, demanding the children be covered.
Today the metaphoric robes are wide open for all to see, vividly displaying life’s painful actualities, not just locally, but globally … and we are overwhelmed. We are witnessing the suffering of our fellow beings, along with the earth itself, while all along having to cope with our personal anguishes and trials.
Our brains are wired with a negativity bias which protects us from potential threats to our survival. This means, given a choice, our brains will select for the negative. The part of our brain that conceptualizes time and space often shuts down, creating an illusion that our problems will never end.
When the brain recognizes danger, it narrows its focus to deal with the threat at hand. It is not capable of dealing with multiple threats at the same time. Experiencing threat after threat after threat eventually exceeds our emotional capacity, which phenomenon is the very definition of trauma. When this happens, people often become paralyzed in fear and may even lose hope, creating an emotional overload that manifests as depression and anxiety.
So, what can we do?
First, we must understand that the mind is not equipped to deal with so much trauma and give ourselves some grace.
Once this is accepted, we can choose to shift from running scared to holding and comforting.
Sylvia Boorstein suggests talking to your nervous system. “‘Sweetheart, you’re in pain. Take a breath. There will be a break in the clouds. Take a breath.’ Say to yourself, ‘You’re upset now. Let’s calm down first and when you feel better, we’ll work this out.”’
We can proactively take a pause to soothe our nervous systems. In doing so we widen our perspectives and are better able to respond rather than react. It isn’t our fault that we are on overload, but we can take responsibility for downregulating our nervous systems.
I am reminded of the old song, Bridge Over Troubled Water, by Simon and Garfunkel. Imagine yourself singing these words to your troubled soul, as a mother or father would while holding their child.
When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I'll dry them all
I'm on your side
Oh, when times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I'll take your part
Oh, when darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Sail on silver girl
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
Oh, if you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
When our nervous systems are calm, we have more perspective and it’s easier to see all the good happening in the world. As Mr. Rogers is famous for saying, “Look for the helpers.” Go outside and marvel at the sky. Observe the curiosity of a child. Snuggle with a pet. Drink a cup of tea and think about every step it took to arrive in your cup, beginning with the soil in which it grew.
Because we are wired to primarily see the negative, we must proactively look for the positive. Along with all the tragedies, wonderful things are happening worldwide.
Rick Hansen encourages us to “take in the good,” with a practice. Open your awareness to the beauties in life and choose something to focus on for at least 20 seconds. Repeat often. In doing this, neuropathways are created that alter our negativity bias, resulting in feelings of balance and safety. We can become masters at seeking out the positive. This is not Pollyannaish. This is reality.
Equanimity is balancing or holding both beauty and tragedy at the same time. As we do this our capacity to tolerate life’s many waves expands, and we are better able to navigate.
When we are grounded, we can witness what is happening in the world and discern how to influence the things that matter most to us. We are powerless to take on every problem we see, but each one of us can make a difference. It might be turning lights off, not wasting food, donating to a meaningful cause, creating safe space for children to play, listening to a depressed friend, becoming media literate, or starting a mindfulness practice. It can also mean following our dreams. “Sail on silver girl, sail on by. Your time has come to shine, all your dreams are on their way. See how they shine.” We move from powerless to empowered.
May you be well,
Barbara
